Mental Health Awareness

I make jest of it here but it’s no joke trying to let it go, it hurts.

Sixteen months later she still haunts most days. Even the therapist hasn’t fully helped exercise the demon. A demon I see in nearly every show I watch, shop I enter, song I hear or dream I dream.

She’s as real as you and I and not really a demon, only her actions that shows no signs of authenticity, compassion nor empathy that appear in the flesh fit that description.

Maybe she’s in pain too, I think, as hope creeps its way back in, like the love my heart that refuses to relinquish, even if just as a friend.

Forgiving has been easy because of the love I still hold for her yet forgetting has been excruciating because of the good times we shared.

I know I’ll never receive any of these apologies Whitney Hanson speaks of, above, for the way she vanished at a time when I needed her most. But these aren’t what haunts.

Rather it’s the message, below, and the timing of it all that seen me battle heart disease and then cancer with its subsequent treatment when she became unclear.

Perhaps she knows, my subconscious tells me, and is afraid to reach out in fear of her own demons. But then the Gemini Twin in me comes out and says, “if that were the case she’d want to heal as well and contact you.”.

It’s these very thoughts, and many more alike, that waste my time daily as my mind hasn’t released the notion, she wasn’t all I had at the time.

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unconditional love, healing