Familiar Faces

Before writing this, I had to ask myself why I’m exploring this topic at all — why certain faces feel familiar even before a word is spoken.

Part of the answer is simple: this is part of my healing. Life leaves us with relationships, connections, and moments that stay with us long after they’ve passed. Sometimes the only way to understand them is to look back honestly.

In doing so, I’ve started to notice patterns in the kinds of faces and expressions that draw my attention. And it’s made me wonder why certain people feel familiar, even without a word being spoken.

Writing helps me try to understand it. As I look back at past relationships, I try to discover where things went wrong. Along with what not to look for again that caused it.

This isn’t about love, and what’s inside someone’s heart. It’s about the moment before any of that happens. It’s about the very moment I see someone’s face and its attraction that begins to pull me in.

Why that person?

Most of the faces I see daily pass by without much thought. I notice them for a second and move on. But every once in a while, a face appears that makes me pause.

Sometimes the eyes capture me first. Not just their shape or color, but the feeling behind them. Eyes that look thoughtful, kind, and quietly confident.

Other times, it’s a smile. Not the one for a profile photo, but one that looks natural. The type of smile that feels genuine and inviting.

What is it that draws me in? I find myself asking that question more and more lately, too. While remembering I’ve been hurt enough for one lifetime and don’t need it happening again.

When One Face Reminds Me of Another

Recognition is a powerful thing. Sometimes I’m not just seeing a face, I’m seeing an echo of someone I once cared about.

There’s another layer to attraction that’s even more interesting to me.

I find myself wondering something I never expected to ask. Am I drawn to a person because of who they are? Or is there something about them that reminds me of someone who once made me feel special?

Maybe I’m searching for the same person all over again.

Or maybe it’s some type of energy ‘The Universe‘ is using on me. Thus, trying to lead me back to where I once was happier.

It’s like hearing a melody that reminds me of a song. But the notes are different, yet something about it feels familiar enough to make me stop and listen.

When a Face Feels Familiar

One such experience in particular still comes to mind.

In 2023 I was riding a subway train in Boston. It was an ordinary ride; people scattered through the car. Each person focused on their own little world. Across from me sat a woman who suddenly began staring at me.

At first, I didn’t think much of it. But then I noticed something about her that caught my attention. Her face felt familiar. The shape of her eyes and the warmth in her expression hit me too. As did the natural ease of her smile. She reminded me of two people I once knew that have left my life.

Different women, different lives, yet somehow there was a shared look. A look that I’ve become attracted to. Instantly I felt a quiet pull towards her.

We never spoke a word during the ride. But our eyes stay affixed to one another the entire journey. Every now and then, I still think about her. And how unaware she was of how much she resembled two others for whom I once had love for.

I also wonder what she was thinking. Did I seem familiar to her too? Was she studying my face for the same reason I was studying hers? Sometimes I wish I had spoken to her but then again, I’m glad I didn’t.

It’s one of those small mysteries that has stayed with me. Not because anything happened. But because something could’ve happened, had either of us spoken up.

Maybe some moments in life are meant to stay exactly as they are, unfinished but meaningful.

Where This Started

I actually started writing this in early March. At the time, it was going to be something different. More structured. More analytical.

I planned to include insight from my therapist, Agnes, someone who could help explain the patterns I was starting to notice. Why certain faces stood out. Why some people felt familiar before I even knew them.

Fast Forward

It was the second week of March when I received a message through my website. It’s now April 17th.

Most of them follow a pattern.

Requests to write someone’s story.
Guest post inquiries.
Occasionally, something promotional.

This wasn’t that.

It was from a woman named Maya.

She wrote that she had been reading my blogs—specifically the ones about Boston and thought she might have recognized me.

Then she asked a question that, at first, didn’t feel unusual.

About a Lionel Richie / Earth, Wind & Fire concert I had attended a few years ago.

Nothing about it stood out right away.

Just another message.

Just another reader.

So I replied.

And we started emailing.

At first, it was casual. But there was something underneath it I couldn’t quite place yet. Something familiar. Not in what she was saying but in the feeling of it.

The Moment I Knew

There’s something else about that night I never really shared.

Only a couple of people knew. Agnes…and now, Maya.

I may have mentioned it briefly in a blog somewhere, but never in a way that fully explained it. Yet it was part of the premise of this blog to begin with.

The woman on the subway and attractions.

In her next email she included a photo of herself. And asked if I recognized her.

I knew soon as I opened the photo. The woman I had been staring at on that subway that night in Boston was staring at me now.

My first thoughts hit; Agnes is never going to believe this. It was unusual enough telling her about Lisa finding me thirty plus year later because of a connection with my bestie and another blog.

What She Saw

Up until that point, everything I had lived was my side of the experience. How I felt. What I noticed and why I was questioning things. But now it became bigger than me.

It is her side of it.

“We didn’t actually meet that night.”

“We just… noticed each other.”

There was something about the way she said it that made it feel even more real. Not dramatic or overthought. Just true.

That has stayed with me. Because that’s exactly what it was. Two people, aware of the moment… and choosing not to act on it.

Then she said something I hadn’t considered.

“I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

“Honestly, I forgot about it… at least consciously.”

Because it meant this wasn’t something she had been holding onto the way I had. It wasn’t a memory she carried around.

And then she explained what changed:

“I was just scrolling through blogs one day… nothing specific.”

“And I came across your piece about Fenway and later the concert.”

“And I knew.”

No explanation or long reasoning. Just that.

What That Meant

It wasn’t just that I remembered her. She recognized me too.

Not from a conversation we never had but from a moment neither of us acted on.

Something I Didn’t Expect

I had spent weeks trying to understand why certain faces feel familiar. And why things happen.

But hearing her describe it…I realized something I hadn’t considered.

Maybe it wasn’t just me trying to make sense of something. Maybe it is something that exists…whether I understand it or not.

And Then It Became Real

Everything up to that point could have stayed a story. Something written and remembered.

But it didn’t. We kept talking.

And eventually…we stopped talking through a screen.

Having ties to Michigan she came for a visit.

From Words to Moments

There wasn’t any confusion the first time we saw each other again. Nor any second-guessing whether it was the same feeling.

It was.

Only this time, we didn’t let it pass.

We met for a movie.

The kind of thing people do every day.

But it didn’t feel ordinary.

Because this time, the moment didn’t stay unfinished.

A Different Kind of Familiar

We went to a Tigers game.

Sat together, watching something that had nothing to do with how we met—but somehow felt connected anyway.

And I realized something in that moment. This wasn’t about the past any longer. And she didn’t remind me of someone else.

She was someone new—who just happened to feel familiar in a way that made sense now.

What I Understand Now

I started this trying to understand why certain faces stay with us. And why some people feel familiar before we even know them.

I thought it was about patterns. About memory.

And not repeating what hurt me before. But I was wrong about part of it.

Familiar doesn’t always mean history. Sometimes it means recognition. Not of who someone used to be in your life but of something real when you finally see it.

A Different Ending

That moment on the subway?

It didn’t end there.

It just… waited.

Until we were ready to do something with it.

That’s the Point

Maybe not every familiar face is a warning.

Perhaps some are an invitation.

Not to go backward—but to finally step into something you almost missed.

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