An Inspiration

September 20, 2023

     How many of you actually pay attention or even read any of the profiles that come across your feed? I do. An early two-word sentence today! That’s how I discovered Chris. She uses her platform to inspire others. And in my opinion, she does it rather well.

 Without further ado let’s

Meet: Chris Elliott

     I formally introduced myself and my website. Explained how I enjoyed her approach to her messaging and asked if she’d like to become part of my ‘Meet Me’ forum. 

     Neary as quickly as her follow, she replied. “I’m down for whatever!” 

     Quirky, I immediately thought. I’m going to enjoy this meeting of minds. Quirky is good, I am, And proud of it.

     She begins her videos out in a fun, excited and warming manner. 

     “Guess what?” she begins, “That thing you’re terrified of doing. That you’ve convinced yourself of it’s just not the time. Guess what? You’re ready. Do you know how I know? Because if you weren’t ready, you wouldn’t have the opportunity.”

Beginning:

     I like being flamboyant and eclectic while still carrying a slight, southern draw of an accent obtained years ago while in the southwest, so it was no surprise when Chris began her answers to the questions I had sent with a ‘Howdy, Rick,” opening. She was replying by audio and sounds just like in her videos; however, this was more inviting as you’d address a longtime friend. 

     She tells me she started doing the inspirational posts out of ‘boredom.’  “I have a nine to five job and it’s not fulfilling. Not to say it’s not a worth wild job. Just not spiritually fulfilling. Found myself having some extra time on my hands after hours. Didn’t really know what to do with myself but felt like I had so much to share.”

     With what, she cites having a ‘small but mighty social circle,’ along with the pandemic her social interactions became fewer and fewer. Rather than languishing in boredom, coupled with the fact she has lots of stuff and life experiences she wanted to share along with having a huge fear of being seen. “Social anxiety is a real thing for me,” Chris added. And decided to ‘tackle a few birds with one stone’ and record herself, talking to herself, or talking to her friends. 

     While further opting to throw it out here on the “ether and see if it resonates with anyone else,” she says excitedly, and “practice being seen. And vulnerable. And exposed. And possibly face rejection and see where that takes us.”

Education:

     She attended the University of California Los Angeles (UCLA) and studied African American Studies with a concentration in English and Screen Writing. 

     “Have I done anything with that? No!” she laughingly adds. “But does that matter? I don’t think so. I would not take back that experience for anything,” referring to her college days.

Video Approach:

     “I’m pretty attune to human psychology and behavior; I don’t know if that’s because of my trauma or because of my eight years now in therapy or for whatever other reason, but I just know people have a short attention span. I, also, know people are all looking to connect and belong and be seen. So, I think, that’s what has informed everything I do,” she said, when questioned on the video approach. 

     Chris continued, “I’m always very direct to the point and honest and sharing my own truth. Assuming that, if that’s what most people unconsciously and inherently attracted to. Wrapping it up in the friendliest way will open people up to truth, that might make them uncomfortable.” 

Trauma Addiction Survivor:

     “My life is full of trauma, as most of ours is. I’m a biracial kid product of divorce,” she added her father was black with a white mother and they had met in the Air Force. Yet divorced when she was three, while actually being born in England. And in an American twist, it was her father that raised her and a brother seven years older. 

     Settling in Los Angeles, her father went on to college and became a teacher. However, she adds, “my father was a raging alcoholic and was incredibly abusive and toxic and narcissistic and manipulative that made for a very interesting upbringing.”

     Continuing, Chris, went on, “I experienced some sexual abuse when I was younger, and my dad had caught the whole situation. As a result of what had happened, basically had punished me and grounded me for a good chunk of time.” She was in third grade when it had happened. Shortly thereafter, she said, he began abusing her as well. 

     “My young adolescent years were just ripe with opportunity for growth and healing although that is not what it felt like at the time,” Chris opined, and says she spent a great deal of her youth trying to find her mother. Once she did, was met with the “Oh yeah, let’s see each other once every few years.” 

     The relationship with her mother has, as she says, “slowly mended over the years. We’re cordial now but she’s still not a mother. More of a friend and I’m probably more of a parent to her than she is to me. But there’s not much residual suffering from the lack of, I don’t know, what would be deemed as healthy love between us.” 

Note: 

In full transparency, I asked Chris’ permission before adding this, and while not knowing what I was adding she agreed.

I wanted her to know had this been an in-person interview, sitting face to face, I would’ve broken decorum and walked over and hugged her and told her I’d be there for her, and I will if you EVER need someone to talk to.

No one and I repeat no one, especially a child, deserves to be abused in any way, shape or form. If you’re an adult, the onus is on you to report it. But if you know a child is being abused, you’re no better than the abuser if you don’t! – Rick

Trauma continued…

     Chris says despite everything she’s been through in her adolescence, she thinks because she aways wanted love. she’s always given it. “That remains true to this day,” she injects. 

     “I’m sober now for six years,” she continues, “my dad passed away eight years ago, and it was my father’s death that actually saved my life. Because up and till that point, my life had been the narrative of my, as, defined by the relationship with my father. Anything and everything I did was to make him proud or to give him a reason to sober up and want to live and change his life.” He eventually drank himself to death and was found weeks later. 

     Opening up ever further, she told me, she attributes his death to her own spiral, deeper, into alcoholism and two years later she realized she had to do things differently or she would “die like her father.” So, she did, after “getting tired of being sick and tired.”

     At this stage of the interview, I felt the change, when she poignantly said, that she told herself “Let me try and live and see how that goes.”

Advice:

     I asked Chris what three pieces of encouragement she could give someone suffering. And with loud ‘wooo’ beforehand, she began. “That it won’t last forever. That you have what you need to get to the other side of it. And that you’re loved.” Afterwards, she told me the reason for them are “because those three things don’t ever seem real in the mitts of the suffering.”

LGBT:

     Yes, I deliberately waited this long to broach this topic. Why? Because now you know Chris and her struggles. One’s sexual choice should never matter. She is ‘queer’ as she refers to herself in a bio. ‘Love is love.’

     “Being an attractive female,” she says, “in and of itself is its own challenge and then when you meet men who want to claim you and find out that you’re not interested it’s an afront to their masculinity. I get more adversarial encounters from men who are disappointed that they can’t claim me more, than like you’re gay or go to hell you faggot. That’s never happened. I don’t know if it’s because of who I am and how I navigate the world and the type of energy I exude. But I get challenged, but for a different set of reasons.” 

 Movie Industry:

     Honestly, after asking Chris about her time working in the film industry in Hollywood, I nearly excluded the subject from the article for obvious reasons. If you’re unaware of my motives, check back to my earlier blogs. It’ll make sense. Piecing my puzzles together are rather easy. Before this happened, I had to remind myself of what this piece was intended for. Helping people by spotlighting someone. Inspirational.

     “Working in the movie industry was fun,” Chris began, “but it wasn’t at the point in my life where I was the healthiest. It enabled a lot of unhealthy and ‘toxic behavior.’ That was about ten years ago and a much different environment than what it was now with the ‘Me Too’ movement and all the strikes. I think my experience in the entertainment industry would be different today plus I’m a different person. It was fun for a ‘young cat.’ 

     “I learned a lot. I worked with folks who had a lot of experience. It made me better professional. And it, also, helped me determine who I wanted to be personally. I knew I was never going to be the type that sold my soul to the devil at the end of the day. That’s what most folks were asking you to do in that industry. I’m just not interested there’s just too many wounds to heal to consider undoing the work I’ve done to ‘move forward.’

Haters, Bullies and Vile People:

     And thus, the interview was coming to its conclusion, I had just one last question – If you had an opportunity to address the bullies, haters and just plain vile people of the world, what would you say to them? 

     “Man, we encounter a lot of those. I just ask those people what their pain is. You know, ‘hurt people hurt people,’ is a very true statement. So, I try and not to take those folks stuff personally. I just always wonder how they’re feeling and what their experiences have been and what drives them to make the choices that they’re making. And if they even know that they’re hurt and that they’re, also, hurting other people. And if they care. But I’d probably just say that ‘I love you’. I wish you the best because at the end of the day I’m never trying to put anything out in the universe that I don’t want to receive back. I would just want to ask them a series of questions and at the end of it all, remind them that they’re loved and that they’re squishy little babies on the inside too.” 

Update:

1/10/25

I had written this piece back in September of ’23 and as many of you know were about to begin radiation therapy for cancer at the time. I didn’t give the closing I should have when I released it. Last night I had one of those dreams.

A dream that encompassed synchronicities of someone and then woke seeing a reader had ‘liked‘ the story nearly a year and a half later. I knew it was time to rerun Chris’ interview.

Chris is an amazingly strong woman. So strong she puts herself out there daily for others to see and inspire. I’m proud of her for standing up to life’s uncertainties. For being who she is.

The world would be a much better place if we all acted like this. You don’t have to agree with her, rather try and understand her and others in similar positions. Show some love and empathy like she does. Care for humanity and learn to do the right thing Afterall ‘the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many.’

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