Wednesday: February 11, 2026

Let’s keep this one quick as life’s been a little chaotic and crazy. I’m in a good mood, and there’s no reason to ruin that by dragging this out.

Prostate cancer patient smiling in a medical exam room before PSA blood test, documenting personal cancer journey and treatment progress.
Inside the exam room, waiting on the PSA and Testosterone tests

I last saw Oncology twelve weeks and one day ago. It has been eleven weeks and six days since my appointment with the urologist. The oncologist ordered labs every twelve weeks, usually scheduled about a week before each visit. The catch? My next oncology appointment isn’t until March. My urology appointment is next week. The order was written on November 18, 2025. To make things more confusing, my hospital chart says the tests aren’t due until on or after May 1st.

I called oncology, and the head nurse told me to have the labs done before I come into their office. That would put me closer to sixteen weeks instead of twelve. I emailed my urologist last week asking for guidance, but I haven’t heard back.

If I had waited, there wouldn’t have been any baseline numbers to measure how the first injection affected me. I would have already received the second injection before the test. And I kept wondering what if the first one didn’t work at all. All the while not forgetting how a similar situation delayed that initial injection by two months. No more games, this is my life.

So, what did I do when the instructions didn’t match and no one responds back to questions?

I’ll show you what I did…

…I followed the fucking orders. Twelve weeks and one day.

And by doing it, I’m relieved to see my PSA numbers going down. Even if it comes at the cost of using what they call the ‘medical castration‘ drug, Lupron.

The second test that was ordered was a Testosterone test. Something new to my chart and a reminder of how much this journey keeps evolving. Testosterone is essentially the fuel that feeds the cancer. This is why the treatment aims to drive those levels down as low as possible.

These numbers carry a lot of weight. They tell the story of whether the medication is actually doing what it’s supposed to do. Slowing things down, keeping the cancer quiet, buying me more time between the unknowns.

OneRepublic: I Lived

This is the new me. A ‘Rick’s Core‘ so to speak beginning. A reminder that control is an illusion, but perspective isn’t. This morning started with fear and ended with relief. Sometimes the victory isn’t loud or dramatic. Sometimes it’s just a smaller number on a report. It’s also a deep breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“I Lived” played while I sat there staring at the results. The lyrics felt less like background music. Instead, they felt like a promise. It was a promise to stay present. It was a commitment to keep showing up for my own life, even when the road feels clinical and uncertain. This journey isn’t only about treatments or medical terminology. It’s about choosing to live fully in the space between appointments. It’s about the quiet moments that remind me who I am beyond the charts.

So today, I’ll take the win.

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4 respuestas a “Control Is an Illusion: What My Latest Cancer Labs Taught Me About Living”

  1. Avatar de Frank J. Peter

    Pulling for you, man.

    1. Avatar de Rick Ollie

      Thank you, Frank! Much appreciated!

  2. Avatar de Jan
    Jan

    Yipeee! This is great news, Rick! Way to follow your gut and, in doing so, get some relief from the unknown sooner rather than later. No more waiting for those results.

    People wait … all summer for winter … all winter for summer … until they have time … until things settle down … until they can afford it …

    I’m so happy you don’t let your pursuit of happiness diminish the joy of today. Way to take action, sir, and get that blood drawn early.

    The world is better with YOU in it and I’m happy things are looking up for you. Resilience encompasses both the physical and mental aspects. Hip Hip Hooray on your test results, my friend. This season of life has just begun …

    1. Avatar de Rick Ollie

      I love this “People wait … all summer for winter … all winter for summer … until they have time … until things settle down … until they can afford it …” Jan that’s inspirational. There’s been so much miscommunications between the two doctors and me, I had to! I realize it’s not over but can breathe knowing it’s not getting worse. Thank you for being in my life. You’re the best friend I’ve met in a long, long time!

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