Sunday, September 14, 2025

Found the ‘Dammit Dolls‘ amusing when I came across them in Frankenmuth. But I didn’t pick one up because I didn’t want anyone to think I was going to ‘Put a Spell on You.’

Honestly, with Halloween so close, the thought did cross my mind. Yeah, I’m laughing. Do you believe in Voodoo? I’m not sure. I believe more in synchronicities and dreams. But ‘Dammit‘ maybe I should have grabbed a doll anyway. They are cute.

The reason I picture them here is that I’m beginning to feel like a voodoo doll myself, with all the testing going on over cancers possible return. However, instead of stick pins, there have been a lot of needles stuck in me over the last couple years.

This past Friday, Joanne got me twice. Once for a blood workup and the other for a flu shot. I was in for my annual physical with my primary doctor, and she works for her an office manager and nurse.

Sorry no recent pic of doc and I to offer from this visit. Like I explained, laughingly, to her and now you, I wasn’t going to pose with her in a paper gown. 😂 I have some pride. 😟

The physical included an EKG, lung test, chest x-rays, bone density scan, body blood flow test, urine test along with Joanne’s blood draw.

Some of you may remember me having to go through another ‘bone scan‘ a little while back. Although they carry basically the same name there is a difference. I enclosed that above.

In the end, excluding lab work results, doc gave me a passable bill of health and the ok for the flu shot.

A note for everyone. Always check with your doctor before getting any vaccines or injections. Especially if you’re going through cancer, it’s testing or therapy. I learned early on that various injections can cause false results. Such as PSA results being off because of a vaccine. It takes time to dissolve fully through your system and not affect them if the test is done soon afterwards.

Doc and I spoke of my summer adventures to Mackinaw City and Mackinac Island. And even offered remorse for me not being allowed to bicycle through the island’s beautiful landscape, because of oncologist orders. Bicycling can aggravate the prostate and in turn would’ve given misleading PSA results my last testing.

Physical Therapy

After my previous ‘bone scan’ for cancer it was decided I’d start physical therapy. When the results came back it showed bone deterioration in both shoulders, knees and ankles. With already having been diagnosed with arthritis in my right hip it was time to stop ‘praying the night can just take it away.’

I went looking for ‘someone who’ll stay when the lights go dim’ and met Deja and William at physical therapy this past week.

The truth? I’ve been in pain for a while. But it had worsened and I thought it may have been due to the cancer spreading to my bones. Thankfully it hadn’t. After two sessions with the pair, I feel worse. But that’s a good thing and I’ll be seeing them two-three times a week to strengthen that ‘worse’ into better.

I always try and add songs to my blogs with a meaning. There’s no meaning I can give you with ‘It’s Alright‘ on this ‘Ted Lasso‘ clip. Because only you will know if ‘it’s alright.’ For me it is. Nearly three years of grief, pain and anguish I’ve almost found my way. It’s been a long journey and there’s still a way to go. But I see a dim light at the end of the tunnel.

One thing is for sure, ‘When You Believe,’ there can be miracles, and I believe!

Wednesday, September 17

Had another physical therapy session on Monday and going back this morning. I really should have started this months ago. After three sessions, the pain in the hip hurts considerably less when I’m walking and standing. Hopefully the grim look I once employed while standing upright can become a thing of the past. Or turn into something a little more doleful.

8:30 AM

Was in therapy for about an hour. During which I did some exercises with the balls, rode the stationary bike, some lateral sets and marches. Was massaged and left a bit early to get to my primary’s office for an ultrasound of my Carotid Arteries.

Doc ordered this last week, as part of my annual physical. I suspect they’ll come back ok.

Christmas Ornaments

I started the Christmas Ornament drive again this holiday season. Since being diagnosed with cancer in 2023 I’ve asked friends to choose an ornament that reminds them or me or our friendship. It’s been a means of cheering up during these trying times.

It’s amazing the things folks can come up with. From sentimental to silly it’s definitely been enlightening and fun. Several ornaments I’ve already received and I’m excited about this year’s holiday season more than ever.

Thursday, September 18, 5: 45 AM

27 hours, 15 minutes to second biopsy

Woke early this morning with nothing on tap for the day. These are the worst types of days when you’re battling cancer. Too much time to think. Perhaps I should have brought that up with Caroline last night when we were talking. But I don’t like keeping her time webbed around my weave. She has a life too.

Although she waited until the near the end of our conversation, she hit me with the most poignant question I’ve been hit with in a while. “What helps you stay grounded at the moment while all this is going on around you?” She asked.

“Probably being so busy,” I quickly replied knowing it wasn’t all truthful. Sure, the trips with the seniors have been helpful but some thoughts are on my mind 24/7. And cancer is one of them.

“I’m just not feeling it one way or another.” I told her and added. ‘I’m not fond of the prep nor procedure but have done it (before) so it’s not worrisome. Not even worried about the results either. Been through the radiation before. Know it didn’t spread to my bones. Been working on the blog for it all week a few minutes here and there. It’s updated. Except one thing.”

‘One Thing’

I used to have a love-hate relationship with Neil Diamond’s ‘Sweet Caroline.’ Sure, I enjoy it but as a baseball fan I hated it when the Boston Red Sox would play it in the bottom of the 8th inning at their home games. I’m a Detroit Tigers fan. Maybe I was jealous because we don’t do something similar. Or because the woman that gave me courage to travel, post covid, alone to Boston to see Fenway for the first time became a ghost.

Yet, throughout all my grief, Caroline, I dedicate this song to you. ‘Who’d have believed you’d come along?‘ I sure didn’t. But you’re here now and I’m wishing you a ‘Happy One Year Friendship Anniversary. You’ve been a lifesaver!

Love you, my friend!

Remember if you love someone, tell them. Life is too short, and it just may be the last opportunity you get.

Because of you, Caroline, I have plans for the day and won’t be sitting around thinking about tomorrow. Encouragement comes from out of the blue sometimes.

Tigers – Guardians at Comerica Park, Detroit

I originally planned on catching our Detroit Tigers host the Cleveland Guardians at Comerica Park when I headed downtown. But things changed after running into friend ‘D’ who works for the club’s event staff.

With very little enticement from her, I found myself on the Ferris Wheel at the ballpark. It was hot and my seat was in the sun, so I gladly changed plans. For the first time in probably 100 games at the CoPa (Comerica Park), I jumped on board with a lot of fanfare from my friend.

That’s ‘D’ with her arms in the air yelling as I begin my first ascension on the wheel. I must say, there was a nice breeze the higher up it went and I felt much better. The ‘kid fun‘ was returning from Mackinaw City and I was enjoying myself as CoPa was just what I needed.

I probably caught one inning of the game in total while exploring the stadium. It didn’t matter to me even with the Tigers fighting for the AL Central Division Championship. What mattered most was getting through the day with little thought of tomorrow’s procedure.

Friday 5 AM

I’ve known for some time this day was coming. I’ve quit hating procedures but the getting up early sucks. In an hour or so I’ll take the first of two Cipro 500 tablets of the day to fight off any infection. Before bed tonight I’ll take the other.

The possible side effects sound worse than any infection.

• low blood sugar – headache, hunger, irritability, dizziness, nausea, fast heart rate, or feeling shaky;
• nerve damage symptoms – numbness, tingling, burning pain in your hands, arms, legs, or feet:
• serious mood or behavior changes – nervousness, confusion, agitation, paranoia, hallucinations, memory problems, trouble concentrating, thoughts of suicide; or
• signs of tendon rupture – sudden pain, swelling, bruising, tenderness, stiffness, movement problems, or a snapping or popping sound in any of your joints (rest the joint until you receive medical care or instructions).

But I guess most medications are like that. I’m not concerned about them as I took the same pills for the previous biopsy back in ’23.

In another two hours I’ll be doing what I’ve always thought was the unthinkable.

But again, been there, done that.

The procedure is set for 9 AM and doesn’t take very long. Maybe a half hour. Below is a good explanation I found on YouTube.

About Last Night

I slept well and I’m sure it’s due to spending the day at CoPa. I was worn out and wonder if it had anything to do with being off the Eliquis the past few days. It’s a blood thinner that helps prevent strokes. Knock on wood, I’ve never had one.

I went dreamless last night but woke thinking of others. Loren in particular. She’s been a huge supporter, a dear friend and is like family. Her mother, at 80, is having some medical difficulties of her own and times are tough for her too. Sending her my love and well wishes along with prayers that everything works out and her mom fully recovers.

And Caroline of course who included in a message yesterday that I’m ‘going into this with a good mindset‘. Thank you, my friend, you’ve played a huge role in my healing.

Guess it’s time for me to go do the other things I’ve got to do before I leave for the procedure. More afterwards.

Noon

I’m tired. The biopsy went without a glitch. Unless you consider the pain in your a*s you get from the probe being twisted and turned. Even the numbing jells only helped a bit.

The procedure itself was short. I’m extremely happy for that. Now I get to expect blood in both urine and bowel movements along with bloody semen for the next few weeks.

Results, according to my urologist, will be reviewed and in within a week. But I’m betting they’ll be posted to my chart over the weekend without review of his team.

However, it doesn’t end here even with a negative result.

Because of a high Red Blood Cell count in my last urine sample, he’s concerned about my bladder somehow being affected. Normal according to the standards they’re using is 0-2 RBC/HPF. But some say as high as 4 RBC/HPF. Mine came in between 3-5. So, I’m not exactually sure what to make of this.

My primary ran urine tests last week and I’ll check with her on Monday to see if she included this. But for now, a Cystoscopy (bladder scope) is scheduled for next month. That’s done with a mini scope ran through one’s urethra and into your bladder.

As he was leaving the procedure room, I had but one last thing to say, “You really don’t like me, do you doc?” Of course, I was joking but he could see the tiredness in my face. Hell, it’s really how I felt as I left after dressing.

I’m really tired of being poked and jabbed, I mumbled to myself aloud as I walked through the dungeon shaped hallway to the elevator leading downstairs and finally to the parking lot. When will it end?

6 PM

It’s even gotten crazier as I find out I’ll need to be off the blood thinners again for the bladder scope. And what pray tell will happen if biopsy comes back positive? I’ll need to be off them for further seed implants.

When this all begun, in ’23, my cardiologist wouldn’t sign off on the first biopsy until three months had passed after he had me stable. Due in fear I had been on and off the Eliquis too frequently and my system needed time to recover completely. Or risk the possibility of a stroke or even worse. Now I’m wondering why these people don’t think, they’ve got all the charts and records. What the hell.

This is another reason you need to stay on top of everything! And being that it’s Friday, after hours, I had to send the urologist an email. Obviously, I’m not expecting a reply at least until Monday.

Talk about being tired of cancer!

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