From being Abused as a Teen to the Big Screen this is Jillian’s Story

A demon introduced us, while another hid in the wings. The first lived inside her, as part of the movie script from where we met.

Durning its showing, I had no clue the first demon was her. All dressed up on screen, meaner than anything you’ve ever seen. And would only come out during the scenes most inopportune for teens. Damn I thought throughout that girl is good. We started following one another over social media that night and as the years have passed have become good friends.

That demon taught her lessons in acting and screen presence. While the other I’ve learned, through this interview, is teaching her something far more painful. A life of healing. Healing from the real demons. The humankind. The kind that cause real pain that last forever. Pain that requires therapy not just forgiveness of oneself, even though it’s not your fault.

Yet through it all, she wanted to talk. To tell her story. To open up a bit. I know that feeling firsthand as I’ve used this platform for just that with my own stories. So, who am I to say ‘no’ to a friend. especially if it helps her heal.

With that said, lets …

Meet: Jillian Newton,

Actress, Model, Business Owner

You’re originally from Michigan, correct?

Aloha Rick! Thanks for the interview! I am excited to share some things about me that not a lot of people know! Yes, I am a Michigander born and raised. I was born in Flint, Michigan.

We camped and took rides “up north” as much as we could, so my mom (and my brother and I!) all very much dreamed of moving to northern Michigan. We ended up moving to beautiful Traverse City when I was in the 3rd grade. In school I played Volleyball and ran Track. I excelled at both through my freshman year. 

Childhood

My childhood is hard to describe. Lots of good times, and lots of hard times, too. My mom worked full time at the hospital, and my dad worked in heating and cooling repair.

My dad struggled with alcohol and drug addiction his whole life. He was in and out of the system, and in and out of my life quite a bit. He was incarcerated from when I was 11, until I was 15/16 years old. It was tough.

During that time, my mom and I were very close. I cherish those memories with my mom. She worked hard as a single working mother most of the time.

My half-brother, Nathan, and I grew up together. I always just knew him as my brother, and a great one at that. I didn’t know he was my half-brother until I was older.

There were plenty of times of chaos and fear. Lots of fighting and yelling in the house at times, and we struggled with money for as long as I can remember.

Around the age of 14, things started changing for me. My mom found my wonderful stepdad, whom she married a couple years later. In the meantime, I was babysitting for several families in the neighborhood and became very close with them. And really close with the kiddos. I loved being with them.

Drinking

I was depressed, lonely, and feeling pretty lost, which lead me to my 1st drink of alcohol at age 13. I was pretty much hooked from the start. My dad wasn’t around, my mom and I grew distant, and I was just plain lost at times.

I cherished my time with the kids, as it was a healthy way for me to cope. I learned at a young age to take care of babies, and little ones, and that gave me a lot of responsibility. It was a great distraction for me.

Unfortunately, when I wasn’t with the kiddos, I was hanging around with older people. The wrong people, drinking, trying drugs, basically anything to escape my loneliness and unhealed childhood stuff, and to get attention. I longed for a father figure quite honestly. My best friend (Emily)had moved across the country when I was 14, and my friend group sort of disintegrated.

I had friends, but I just wasn’t always “there”. Outside of school, I was hanging out with parents of the kids I watched, their friends, and going to parties and such. I was growing up way too quickly, and didn’t make the best choices. I was still a kid myself, but I was watching a few kids for two separate families so much, I felt older. I had parental responsibilities at a very young age, and I took them seriously. I cared for the kids I watched, very much, for many years. 

In junior high I excelled in school. I was always on the honors list, I loved learning, and I found reading/writing, and projects easy. So I got my work done quickly, and that way I had more time with the kids, and of course, more time to party. That wasn’t a good thing for me.

I loved playing hockey with the kids. I basically lived on my skates or skateboard. I loved cars, still do, and motorcycles. I enjoyed car racing and off roading as well. Between the age of 16-18, I spent most my time partying. I still went to school, but only to turn in projects or take tests, and barely held on to C grades at that point.

Sexual Assault

Not to go too dark here, but I want to share some things that happen to me as a kid/teenager, because it made me the person I am today, and ultimately lead me to be an incredibly driven individual with much success and blessings I can speak for today.

I was first sexually assaulted just before I turned 14 by a boyfriend of one of the women I babysat for. I would often be given alcohol and attention. And of course, at my young age and lost state, I thought that was great. Until it wasn’t. I continued to be sexually assaulted and raped several times by the same individual for about a year. By age 16 I was skipping school a lot. Trying hard to hang on to my childhood but finding myself pulled into this other dark world.

I was sexually assaulted and raped by another older man at age 16, and that went on for a while. He was a parent of the kids I watched too. At first, it was innocent, it felt that way to me, anyway.  He would give me drinks or drugs after the kids went to bed. He wouldn’t pay me for babysitting until I’d relax and have a drink because “I earned it,” stuff like that to get me to stay.

We would talk, laugh, get high, watch funny shows, even cuddle. Honestly, I needed and wanted the attention, so I didn’t mind all that. I enjoyed it. Again, deep inside, I longed for a father figure. These men took advantage of this. But just as before, it took a turn.

These times lead to rape, in which I very loudly and violently protested, only leading me to black eyes and more abuse. I was a fighter. It got me into trouble, especially with this particular man. He was strong and violent.

People have asked me, why I didn’t stop going to babysit, or tell someone. Truth is, there were many reasons. The biggest one was fear and embarrassment. He would have the youngest kiddo call me from time to time, asking me to come babysit them, or why I wouldn’t come. That tore me up. I loved those kids. I really truly did. They made me happy, and I knew I was doing good for them, too.

Those were my happy times. Playing with them, teaching them French from school, being able to be a kid myself, quite honestly. Laughing and playing and lighting up those kids lives by spending quality time with them lit me up, too. I didn’t want to lose them in my life. So, I went to babysit, still. Then of course there were the threats. If I fought back and tried to leave, as I did many times when the drinks turned into sex being forced upon me, I was told I would never see the kids again. He said he would call the police when I left because I would be drunk driving. He said he would tell everyone I was doing drugs, etc. I did space myself from him and the kids when things got too bad. But when things were good, they were really good, and I’d miss that.

I was totally lost, scared, and confused. I was lonely. By seventeen I was totally addicted to alcohol. The story gets darker from here, we’ll skip over the rest for now.

When I was a senior nearing graduation, I had been planning to move out west and escape this life. There were so many things happening and I was only becoming more lost. I decided after graduation, I would pack up my 4 runner and start fresh…as far away from these men and this dark place I had found myself in. I graduated in 2007 and got my high school diploma; in which I was so proud of, given how my teenage years were going for me ha-ha. I laugh because you have to keep it light, you know?

I’m healing. To this day. However, my life is so beautiful, light, and full of love now. My gratitude overtakes any of these events. I want to help others with my story. This is why I’m being real with you. It really, truly, does get better.

Healing is possible. That’s what I want everyone to know. If you can survive trauma, and be honest with yourself, and others, get help if needed, you can not only heal, but thrive and live the life you want! I am happy to report that I have even started a new relationship with my dad, after nearly 13 years of no contact. He is living a beautiful sober life, and I’m so proud of him. These events from my childhood just drove me harder to my goals and dreams. If I can do it, you can ♥️.

Did you attend college?

I moved to Oregon and reunited with my best friend; I did go to college. I went to Central Oregon Community College, and OSU campus in the Cascades for a little while and worked full time as a teller and personal banker at age 18.

I roomed with my bestie in a super cool old house downtown Bend, Oregon. Life was good again! My major was business management, focus/minor in marketing. College experience for me was not like most, I am sure. I mean, come on, I had already been partying like a college kid since I was a kid. I swear, got to have a dark sense of humor here!

I paid my own way through with student loans and grants. I did a few in person classes after work and on weekends, but that didn’t last long. I was living life, finally, in the beautiful pacific northwest! I LOVED mountain biking. The trails out there are some of the best in the country. I wanted to live and enjoy life. So, I was in and out of college. I did online classes for a long time and managed to do pretty well. A’s and B’s. All while working full time.

However, it wasn’t long before my unhealed trauma and drinking too much caught up with me again. If you don’t deal with your wounds, they’ll keep opening up. I started drinking hard again. I was dating an older guy. And once again, found myself falling back into old habits, and still longing for that father figure. Needless to say, that relationship was a mess. I was finding myself in that dark place once again and stopped going further in school. I worked full time, but on weekends I partied hard. I was competing in running and Mt biking races, snowboarding, running, working out….and partied. Again, it all seemed great, but that unhealed stuff just kept creeping in. 

Acting School?

I never attended acting school. I wrote. I watched movies and studied the actors, the characters, the films. I wrote music, songs, poems, journals, stories, scripts, dark and deep, and everything in between.

I’ve been writing since I was a kid. I still have my notebooks and papers. All of them. As far back as about the age of 10. Someday, I will publish my works. That day is close.

As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be in movies. Those actors, those characters, were my heroes. Even the villains Intrigued me. It’s a special art form that takes a lot of humility and work.

I was absolutely fascinated with the art of acting and storytelling. I’d practice accents, monologs from my favorite movies, meditate, visualize, and dream of being in film. Even though there were several tough years as a child/teen and as an adult, that dream never died.

I continued to write and study film and acting on my own. It’s hard to explain, but I have always felt so drawn to the art of film and acting. The process of “finding” a character is healing for me. It’s challenging. It sets my soul on fire. That’s how I’ve always known I wanted to act, and that I was capable. I always felt like I was meant for it. No matter how many jobs and detours I took, and still take, my heart belongs in film and acting.

I tried so many different careers and jobs, and did well at them all, but was never fulfilled. Until I got my first role. That feeling. Sorting through my emotions, finding the characters emotions, their walk, their talk, their quirks. I instantly loved everything about it. It finally opened up my artistic and creative soul that I pushed down for so many years. I had never had a better feeling, a passion so strong it gives me chills to think about now. My heart and soul are in it, and always will be.

What did you do for employment before you began your movie career?

I had many jobs. Once I moved to Oregon, I got a job within the first two weeks at a bank. I worked for this bank for over 5 years. Then went to a bigger bank, Wells Fargo, and was a small business banker. I didn’t last long there. It wasn’t a good fit for me, I wasn’t meant to sit at a desk!

I loved my clients at both banks, and still hold some relationships with some of those clients to this day. But the day-to-day office job just isn’t for me. Again, pushing down my creativity, and also my unhealed baggage.

I passed my series 6 and 7 investment banker exams and tried selling insurance and investments for a while. Again, didn’t last long there. I just couldn’t keep pushing my dream down any longer.

In 2014 I quit my job and decided to move to Vegas to model and act. I had met a photographer through my business career, he happened to live in Vegas, and he instantly introduced me to the modeling world.

I jumped right in and did very well. While modeling, I worked as a blackjack dealer and go-go dancer (you know, the Vegas girls that dance on the bars!?)  I had some fun with this, I won’t lie – and the tips were insane.

My modeling career was prospering. Throughout my modeling career I was published in over three dozen magazines. I did promo modeling, casino modeling, some runway, brand, and special events, fashion, jewelry, all of that. Working in the casino got old really quickly. Not to mention, this was not the scene I needed to be in, already struggling with heavy drinking.

I quit the casino and started working as a host/model at a new and exciting bar/restaurant. From host I become the front of house manager. This is where my wounds and past started creeping in on me again.

It was Vegas. It was a bar. We all drank after work and went out to the clubs and partied. All. The. Time. Sure, it was fun at first, but boy did it turn quickly.

To make a long, dark, and hard story for me to tell short – I thought I had met someone special. A successful, good looking, man. I wished I would have not been so “swept” and seen the red flags sooner. Between the way I was living, partying, modeling, etc., I was just completely oblivious. Again, this is a story I will share in detail with the world someday, but now is not the time. Unless you want me to write the book for you now. 

He turned out to be a part of a sex trafficking ring. Dealt drugs. Pimped out woman. He spoke fluent English, Spanish, and Italian….so all the phone calls, meetings, and “friends” stopping by didn’t phase me. Most of the time he spoke Spanish, and I had not a clue.

The short of it – I ended up being drugged repeatedly by this man, unknowingly at first, and for a while. I considered him my boyfriend, and he called me his girlfriend. The drugging got worse, and strangers would come over for drinks that he called friends.

However, I’d quickly feel super out of it after just one drink. He told me I was to have sex with his “clients.” And often being so drunk or high, I’d be nearly unconscious. I was many times, I am sure.

This was my every day for almost a year. I’d wake with vague and horrible memories and flashbacks. Injuries. Confusion. He would be so sweet at times…bringing me breakfast in bed, a mimosa, telling me to just relax by the pool all day.

He had cameras in and outside his house. He’d take my car keys, my phone, lock me in the house, made me quit my job, the restaurant he owned, btw.

There’s way too much to tell here, but the light at the end of this dark tunnel is…I survived. After several attempts to escape, I finally ran out of the house one night, butt naked, bleeding, and screaming for help. A neighbor helped me and called the cops. He was arrested. Believe it or not, cops had come many times before…but they never arrested him. He had friends in high places. This time though, they took him away. When I woke up on the floor the next day with a gash on my shoulder, other injuries, and couldn’t stand… I prayed, for the first time in my life for God to help me get out. To survive.

I found my feet, and my phone, and called a friend to help me. I got out. I went into “hiding”. I share this for the same reason I shared my teenage traumas….to reach someone. maybe many some ones. To never give up. To have the will to survive and the belief in yourself, or a higher power, that you can get out. 

The other light? More drive. More determination. Then it finally came – my first movie role! 

Best Friend

After Vegas I started dating my best friend of ten years, David Newton. The time I was in hiding, trying to get out of Vegas, we talked every single day. Sometimes for hours every night. He talked me through my hardest times. I was a complete mess after leaving my “captor”, drinking more than ever. He was still there. Always had been. And vice versa throughout our friendship.

We were always there for each other. So, after a few months of hell and fear, I left Vegas and moved back to Oregon. I moved in with him and I fell head over heels. Instantly. 

I loved David so unconditionally, and he loved me so unconditionally, and always had. We just never got the timing right. We finally synced up. It was beautiful. Within three months we were talking about marriage. Starting a family. He had been battling esophageal cancer. He was a damn fighter. I truly believed he would beat it. I was planning our future. Our wedding. I may have been in denial, but I 100% believed he would beat this cancer. Even after losing his eye.

He started to decline quickly, and the doctors didn’t ever seem to have good news for us. Even then, I held hope. He proposed to me. It was amazing. His family was amazing. I love them dearly to this day. Despite my faith he would beat it, and we’d start a family, he didn’t. He passed away at age 36 in June 2018. This devastated me. However, once again, more drive. More determination. 

Sobriety, Space Camp and Hawaii

I moved to Huntsville, Alabama. I know, what the heck!? I planned to move to Atlanta to continue with my acting career but ended up struggling to find work and a rental right away.

I reached out to a friend and visited Huntsville and landed a room there. Shortly thereafter, I found a job at The US Space and Rocket Center. How cool, right??

I worked as a museum guide and loved it. I was auditioning for film and doing small indie films. I then started at Space Camp and Aviation Challenge as a crew trainer/camp counselor. I absolutely loved this job! By far the most fun and rewarding job I’ve ever had. But as amazing as it was, it did not pay very well and was pretty exhausting.

I still had this aching for bigger things. Even though I did quite a bit of acting and film down there, I just wanted more. Something new. While in Alabama I found sobriety.

I also met my now Fiancée, Nicole. We were instant best friends. It’s like our souls weren’t meant for one another and the universe put us together at the perfect time. We were both struggling – and now we had each other. Alabama served its purpose, in many beautiful ways, but my big dreams were never going to die.

Space Camp

You’ve also worked at Space Camp in Huntsville, Alabama. How did this job come about and how long were you there? I love space, can you tell me a bit about your duties? 

Yes, I did! A friend saw an online add for the job opportunity at the Space and Rocket Center, knew I loved space and thought I’d find it interesting. I interviewed the next week and got the job the same day! I was there just under four years. I love space, too!

I’d tour guests around the museum and facilities. Taking them through the US and Soviet space race history, early rocketry, the spaceships, capsules, the different astronauts from the beginning to now, and what they did…etc. I loved that. However, what I really wanted to do was be a trainer at Space Camp. I interviewed for that position and got that of course. It was so cool.

We actually got to go through the whole training program and get our wings, before getting your first team. As a crew trainer, I was with kids from all around the world, Ages 9/10- 18. We also had adult camps. VIP camps. Special camps. So many different programs.

As their crew trainer, I was the team leader. I taught them the history, we toured the museum, I got to educate them on the different space trainers, like the MAT, (Multi Axis Trainer), the dive tank, or UAT (Underwater Astronaut Trainer), and others. We got to use telescopes, meet astronauts that would come talk to the kids and so much more. 

Aviation Challenge camp was actually my true favorite! It combined space and aviation, in a military structured camp. I loved that program!

The kids got to learn military procedures and drills, survivals skills like building safe structures, how to start fires, (like, in a fire pit for survival reasons). We did expeditions in the woods, “marching” and cadences, and of course got to use the flight simulators. Very real flight simulators. We even had a traditional Top Gun competition.

So many cool things…and also educational as they learned aviation history, the different kinds of planes, helicopters, etc. Obviously, I would highly recommend Space Camp or Aviation Challenge to anyone. Child or adult!

Hawaii

I connected with a friend in Hawaii who has been trying to convince me to work for him for a while in the real estate sector…and boom. Next thing you know, Nicole, me, and our three dogs are planning our move to Maui! I started as a real estate assistant. Studying for my Real Estate exams, learning the ropes. I passed my tests and am now officially a licensed real estate agent.

I also work occasionally on a snorkel tour boat as a guide. I LOVE when I have the opportunity to fill in for this job! I love swimming, free diving, snorkeling, scuba diving, and helping people, especially the kiddos, so it’s a perfect little side job/hobby for me.

Nicole and I have also started our own Landscaping company. Down to Earth Lawn Care. It is thriving. We work our tails off, but absolutely love it. I’m sure if I took a breath and allowed you a follow up question, ha-ha, you may ask (I would ask), “but how is this getting you closer to acting”. Well Rick, I’ve got a plan. Always have. Between Real Estate and our fast-growing landscape business, I will soon have many resources and time at my disposal.

The best perks of being your own boss, right?! So, I have gotten back in to submitting for roles!  Auditioning is almost all virtual now, so I can do it right in my apartment in front of my green screen. When the roles come, and they will when the time is right, I can hop on a plane to Los Angeles, or anywhere, and not have to worry about work or money. There are some very exciting things emerging, and I can’t wait to share them with everyone soon!

Why Hollywood?

When I was a kid, I always wished I could be someone else. By that I mean, I wanted to be everyone else and do everything else. I wanted to be a pro skater. I wanted to be a pro drummer. I wanted to be an astronaut. I wanted to be a stunt woman. I wanted to be gold medalist. I wanted to be a pilot. A car racer.

Now, I actually did, and do, most of those things. (I’m not an astronaut). However, I am working to get my private pilot license. I love flying. As you know I’ve worked at NASA Space Camp and have made good friends with a legendary fighter pilot, Commander, and astronaut. He is one of my heroes and now an amazing mentor to me.

I skated, I snowboarded, I ran and won medals, I raced cars, I rode and still ride motorcycles, I play the drums… but I never went “all in” with any of this. It’s like I’ve always wanted a taste of everything in life. Most of all, even when I was a little kid, I wanted to be an inspiration. I wanted to enact emotions with people. The way the actors on the screen did for me. I have always wanted, and still want, to be the hero. Even the Villian. I just wanted, and still do, to experience everything in life I could.

The characters in the movies were my inspiration since a young age. Today, those actors and the characters they play still are! I have always been in love with movies. I also have this feeling in my heart, my gut, that I was meant to be an actor.

I mean, I did all of these things but was never truly fulfilled. I crave the challenge, the process, the emotions, of finding and becoming a character, whether fictional or portraying a real person (one of my biggest acting goals!). Whether I felt this way so strongly was that I wanted out of the chaos when I was young, like an escape, or because I was intensely fascinated. I’m just totally intrigued with film, movies, acting, characters, stories, etc. It’s like everything my whole life encouraged me and always lead me back to acting and film. It’s like a release for me, too. It’s healing. It’s everything for me. 

What are your parents’ thoughts about it?

My mom has always been supportive, telling me, I could do anything. I knew this and I’ve proved it. However, I’m not so sure either of them thinks I’ll go all the way to the top. I get it, One in a million, right? Well, I’ve believed and known my whole life that I am that one in a million. I’ve felt it and I still do. It only gets stronger for me.

Movies and Characters

Favorite movie I did was definitely Bus Party to Hell. Hear me out…. Just for the experience and the wild ride alone. I filmed over two weeks, on location, and on sets, full crew and closed set. This was a first for me.

I got to be “lifecast” with plaster and other materials for the film, including my full head, teeth, and hands, for a full mask and prosthetics. What an epic and intense thing to experience, even before we started filming!

Plus, I got to pop through walls and play two roles…sort of.

Being my first movie and first experience on set ever, and being casted as one of the leading characters – this was HUGE for me. But I had ZERO experience on set. I was a nervous wreck. I did ok. I got called out in a few reviews, and they were a good reflection on me. However, my acting has come a long way since then. I learned so much on that set though. It will always hold a special place in my heart. It’s completely ridiculous, campy, and not a movie I think I’d partake in now, but it was such a big first move for me and I’ll never forget it.

My favorite character I played is a tie between Karma, and Maggie. Maggie is from Shadow Tag, our film that is in festivals now. Karma was a super fun badass character! It was for a movie called Inoculation by a very talented young director, Amari Jhene. Karma had a British accent, wild and crazy personality, and best of all, she could kick ass. We did one rehearsal for this film. Myself and the actor opposite me worked our butts off with the fight scenes. I LOVED every bit of it. I got to show off some of my fight skills.

Unfortunately, the film with Karma never came to. However, I have some behind the scenes footage and pictures that I can share. They are also on my Facebook fan page, and my YouTube and Instagram. 

The other character, Maggie, is from my newest movie Shadow Tag. She is tied for my favorite role. Yet, it’s just a different kind of favorite. Maggie was complex. She was fun, she was troubled, she was mentally ill, she was childlike, and she was funny at times. I loved the challenge, and I loved when I watched the movie for the first time. I didn’t recognize myself. It was, also, the first time I watched my work and truly didn’t recognize myself at all. I was Maggie through and through. I walked and talked and acted like Maggie. It was very cool to experience that for the as an actor. I can’t wait for many more times like that.

Auditions

Humm ok! Well, my first audition ever was certainly odd and incredibly nerve racking. It was a big casting call in Vegas for a pilot. LOTS of people were there. They were calling actors in two at a time. Right before they called us in, they gave us the sides. So, it was a total cold read! I maybe had the time to read through it once, then they called you in. They were recording, so there was a big camera in your face, and three or four people were sitting at a long table. The other actor and I didn’t know each other. There were no practice runs, just ready, set, action! I did well. I made it to the final cast for the leading ladies and got to do a table read. Ultimately, the pilot didn’t get the green light. 

Would love to hear some funny audition stories

As for funny, that’s a little harder. I’ve had plenty of funny, bad, and embarrassing auditions! One time, the director sent me the sides and asked for a self-tape. Nicole did a cold read of the other lines for me. But with her there, I just kept messing up, or laughing, or missing a line. It was a disaster.

However, I ended up getting into the zone, feeling this character’s pain, and I just ran over to my set up and did the audition by myself. Just going through my characters lines. I got the part! Every audition has taught me something. It’s hard to watch your own auditions, especially the not-so-great ones, but that’s how you learn. 

One time, early on in Alabama, I did my first ever zoom audition. I had the sides before and had them basically memorized. I had the accent down, the mannerisms, I was so confident I was gonna nail It. Then the zoom call…haha well, first off, the lady started to read the other characters lines, and my zoom call dropped. I panicked. I couldn’t get them back. It totally messed with me!

I got them back on zoom and apologized, as I was living in a tiny old apartment in Alabama with not-so-great internet. They allowed me to start again, and then when my line came up, I totally froze. I don’t even know what happened. I snapped out of it, looked at the papers, and tried shaking it off. The ladies laughed, said it was fine, go again, and I got through the audition. Just barely! In the audition the character is smoking. I had a pen or something to fake smoking, and the pen fell apart midline. ha-ha I mean, it was just a mess. I did get a call back, believe it or not, I learned I was their second choice, but ultimately didn’t get the role. Sometimes your “in it”, other times, you’re just not. Thats the process.

If you could play any role, who would it be and why?

That question is the hardest question to answer. Seriously! I guess I have to answer more vaguely. Just because there are SO many roles and characters, and real-life people I’d love to play. To me, it would be a real-life person. Someone that impacted the world in real life in some way. Nothing beats real. To me that’s the ultimate goal. The ultimate challenge.

You’ll be compared to the ‘T’ to the real person, and that is just so exciting to me. To study that person endlessly. To learn that person. To not only impersonate them as perfectly as possible, but to respect that person’s life and emotions…and portray them to your best abilities. I want that opportunity so dang bad! I believe I will get that opportunity some day!

Shadow Tag

Can you tell us a bit about it and your character? Film Festivals? Streaming? Reviews? What encouraged you to become a part of it? 

Shadow Tag is a beautiful piece of film, pure art! I’m so, so proud of this work and everyone that was a part of it.

The log line is: A catholic priest on the verge of losing his faith finds God in the strangest of places”

The movie is about a man, “God” that has come into human form and finds himself in a mental institution with a very colorful group of patients. This priest is brought in to help with his case and ends up getting way more involved than he bargained for.

This movie is not about pushing religion, and this movie is not about being against religion…. it’s about being open and awake to make your own choice about it.

The script is gold. When I read it, I laughed out loud, I cried, I felt moved, I was provoked with deep thoughts. And I absolutely wanted to be a part of this immediately.

Jimmie and Autumn Rogers are the directors, and they brought me on board. They are a super talented couple, and I was thrilled to get the invite to audition. I auditioned for the supporting role of Maggie.

Maggie is a patient at the mental institute and is straight out of backwoods Alabama. She is like a child at times, and other times, has her moments of talking about her past, her theory’s, and her insanity. She was a super fun and challenging character to play, and I loved every bit of it.

So far, we have been nominated for several awards at a few different film fests. We have had a few nominations for best feature film, and took the win for that one in New Jersey, and again at the Cult Movies International Film Festival.

I also received 2 nominations for best actress, and just took my first win at the Nawada International Film Festival. Winning the “Best Female Actor” award at an international film festival is such a big deal to me. I’m so grateful and so humbled!

The film is still circulating through the film fests and will be for a little while. We have had many new official selections with awards soon to be announced. I fully expect the film to win many more awards.

Everyone should see it. It’s dark, it comical, it’s deep, it’s real. Beyond my bias, it is a well-done film, with incredible acting, fantastic editing, a great score, wonderful cinematography, and the story itself is everything. It’s entertaining, thought provoking, and moving.

After the film fests, I know the directors and producers will be looking for a streaming platform. I will definitely keep everyone posted on when they can see it!

The films writer is Lawrence M. Zachary. He was a genius writer. One of the coolest most creative brains I’ve ever got to pick. We became buds after filming, talking film and writing nearly every day after we left set. We shared ideas with each other, we shared movies with each other. We talked so much about the art form and the process. He was my favorite person to talk about film with.

Zach is no longer with us. Tragically, he passed a few months after completion of the film. He never got to see the finished product. In those months that we talked, he helped me write two AMAZING scripts. I told him some of my story. I told him some of my fictional thoughts for film. We went back and forth for hours and next thing I know, he is sending me pages and pages of amazing script.

I will honor him by completing these films. One of them he added me as creator, because I’ve had this idea for a film in my head for years. Just bits and pieces all over the place. He helped me sort them out and wrote a complete feature script. With me as lead.

In the next 2 years, I’d like to produce this film, with Jimmie and Autumn directing, and as much as the cast from Shadow Tag as possible. I will bring his scripts to life. Jimmie was his best friend. I know Jimmie feels the same. Truly, the entire cast and crew of Shadow Tag are such amazing talented humans. This film deserves to be seen and heard. I will do all I can to help with that. Thanks for the opportunity for me to talk about it!

From Jillian’s Heart

-In Her Own Words-

I feel like for me, it was most important to share my past, so people know where I came from. I share in hopes that someone, even just one person, finds a spark of inspiration to change their life.

To get help. To get out of an abusive relationship. To Find sobriety. To take that risk. To know that no matter what, if you have the will, you can survive and have any kind of life you want. Even after the worst possible events that you could go through.

It’s up to us in this one life to make it what we want, and I decided a long time ago to refuse to allow those men or those events to have any power over me anymore.

They would never define me, like they did for so long when I just drank them down, instead of dealing with them. Eventually, I allowed it, (with help, healing, therapy, sobriety, and time) to drive me, and focus me on gratitude. The more I look and feel gratitude, the more good that comes. The more I share, the more I heal. Since I’ve chosen positivity and healing, my whole life has changed. Anything is possible, and that’s the biggest thing I want people to know.

Jillian about Me

I absolutely love how often you are spreading positivity and highlighting amazing humans! It’s what I first noticed about your posts and I thought that was so cool and different. There isn’t enough of humans rooting for other humans. We need more of that, now more than ever.

Now you have your blog, and I love that even more. I feel humbled and honored you’d like to feature me.

Keep doing what you are doing, Rick! I am glad to have a social media friend like you that has been through your fair share of hell, but you still shine bright – all the while allowing others to shine their light through you. ♥️

Thank you again, my friend.

Writers Note

Jillian and I have known one another for probably eight years. We’ve talked about a lot of things during that time. But today’s interview brought out the harsh reality of life. That not everyone is a good person.

There are demons among us that deserve what they have coming their way. Be observant. If your child or even an adult is acting strange by God, ask what’s wrong.

None of what happened to my friend should have ever happened. But all too many times the victim shoulders the blame. Not only in sexual assaults but physical and mental abuse as well. No one deserves treatment like that. NO ONE!

To Jillian,

I’m so proud of you for speaking up about your past. May this little step help continue your road to recovery. I thank you for trusting me with your story as it speaks a lot about our friendship. It’s no longer just our Michigan ties that bind us. It’s a journey called healing.

As for your movies, you know I’ll always watch and promote them. Most importantly I’ll always be here for you. While I’m sure if I took a breath and allowed you to ask a question, ha-ha, you may ask, “Why are you doing this?” Well Jillian, I’ve got a plan. I want to leave the world a better place when I go. One with more kindness, understanding, empathy and communication. Because the lack of the four causes pain. To that I know firsthand as it’s to blame for my own pain and healing journey.

That is why I do what I do. I wish you the world and I can’t wait till Shadow Tag is officially released.

Thank you again, My Friend

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