A ‘Meet Me’ Interview

Her post appeared in my feed. It was the algorithm for sure. It was too obvious not to be, as I’ve written a lot about therapy and self-help since starting my website. She was staring me in the eyes much like another interviewee had last summer.

Unlike the other that was smiling and giggling, warming my heart, doing those little things that are so special in life. She spoke openly and directly about breakups. And talked in a way humans relate to when discussing not only that but abandonment issues as well.

Most professionals would lead us in a kinder, gentler form of healing. Yet I found her direct method soothing. A bit controversial, perhaps. Still I watched, not in a gasp. Rather in a sigh of relief. Relieved to know I wasn’t the only one with similar feelings of not wanting to have mine and my ghost, end on the ‘blocked‘ front like her. Yet it had. I would’ve rathered it had been one of joint friendship. Mutual respect. And a world with both of us still in it.

While neither of ours ended on a high note, we both had one thing to do. Learn how to heal.

While watching her video, I felt something good in her words touch me. I began to type her this message.

“May I ask you a question,” I penned in her inbox, not even knowing her. “Did it make you feel better? Sounds so much like my story. Ghosted in the end. No goodbye. No closure. All blocks. I just think I’d end up regretting it (if I had done mine the way she handled hers). But damn it would sure feel good.”

Her audio response…

After hearing her out, I knew I had to interview her and asked.

Mere moments after elaborating about my ‘Meet Me‘ articles, she instantly said “Neat! Ok let’s do it!“

Meet:

Jodika McKinley, Hypnotherapist

Where are you originally from?

I am from Medicine Hat, Alberta Canada. I grew up in Kelowna, British Columbia. My parents were divorced by the time I was 10. My dad was a workaholic and an alcoholic.

What was your childhood like?

It was just me, my mom, and my sister growing up. Mom moved back home (10 hours away) from my dad. So that she could get and remain sober. She started her own health food business.

What did you like to do as a child?

As a child I was always passionate about deep adult conversations. I was an old soul from a young age – same as a teen.

How was school?

School for me was all about being a high achiever. Until I listened to too much Pink Floyd “Another Brick on the Wall.” Then I dropped out of grade 10 and home schooled myself.

I’m very ambitious and can learn without being in a group setting, I feel held back in large groups. My favorite subject was history, and I enjoyed badminton.

 Where did you attend college? Degree(s)?

The work I do, I always felt destined into at some point in my life. Like when I was 45/50 but more as a Tony Robbins life coach.

It was only when I lost both my parents 5 years ago (suddenly) that I got “projected” for a better lack of words into this field at age 28, now 32

As I began taking schooling & courses based around Holistic approaches to living/being, one course led to the next. I ended up finding myself completely fascinated by the wonders of the subconscious mind. I was very surprised to discover it was the catalyst to dysfunction in the body. This encompasses mental, emotional, and physical aspects—hence my current work.

I didn’t go to a formal university, it’s not for me. I find for what I am into (psychology) university is too “in the box” and “woke” for me.

I look at folks like Jordan Peterson who no longer validate large scale universities (because of wokeism). I chose private education in smaller accredited schools.

I took Counseling Hypnotherapy from Orca Institute based out of Vancouver B.C and will be taking more courses through them.

On top of this I went to school for Holistic Nutrition through Edison Institute. As well as taking functional labs through Functional Diagnostic Nutrition (FDN).

In-between, I spent a good chuck of money on nervous system-based courses to understand what nervous system regulation was. I am constantly challenging myself, reading books in my field and “doing the work” aka. self-reflection.

I do not fear the shadows. I have Pluto & the Sun in Scorpio in my 10^th house. Yes, I am into Astrology and took a level 1 psychology-based astrology course “Evolutionary Astrology” through Steven Forrest Academy

Yoga

In part, your website reads as such ‘I am formally trained in Holistic Nutrition, Functional Labs, Counseling Hypnotherapy(c), and Yoga.’  Many already understand yoga but perhaps not to the extent of mental health. Could you explain in brief how it would be beneficial to one’s mental state?

Yoga, if done in the traditional manner is all about nervous system regulation by balancing the hormonal glands. It combines spirituality with self-awareness. I took my training from a very advanced teacher named Ganga Devi through her school Himalayan Yoga Institute.

I feel you cannot help a person unless you can understand the body as a whole. Hence why I have taken the path of Yoga, Holistic Nutrition, Functional labs and Hypnotherapy.

I have taken all of these trainings and education. Through them, I have understood quite clearly that the body is a complex organism. It cannot be treated by any one modality alone. We are the spiders web, everything is interconnected.

The Letter

It’s a bold statement sending a registered letter as a goodbye seeking closure. What brought this idea on?

Yea, this one was such a big life lesson for me! So, me and this man dated for a short while (2 months) and had a really ugly breakup. The breakup started out good and then it went nasty because he was hurting and couldn’t communicate that. Instead, he went into attack mode (verbally) and I was going through a lot at the time. I just gave it right back to him. We entered what I coach my clients on which is: the drama triangle.

You told me you have no regrets in doing so. Were there any signs of anxiety?

For months I was angry and furious with him. He threw mud at me. I went into the mud pit and then he got what he wanted; me on his level. Me feeling his pain (anger). And then leaving me with it by blocking me off of all ways to contact him (resolve).

But for me, that wasn’t my natural state. I’m not, and I have never been, into holding onto intense anger – cue the letter. It was the biggest form of emotional release, self-love and self-confidence. I took a leap of faith on myself,

I didn’t care if he flat out rejected it or me because I just wanted peace between our souls. In other words, I didn’t want to see him in another lifetime. Then have to repeat where we left off in our soul contract. Or attract another life lesson similar to him.

What was your initial feeling when the postal clerk took that letter from you for the last time?

Two months after he blocked me, I needed to let the anger go. So, I decided sending a letter via registered mail. I wanted to have a chance to go back in time. To say what I wish I could have said, had my hurt emotions not run the show. And had he not gotten exactly what he wanted: a fight, a reason to hate me.

I sent it registered mail so I would know that he had gotten it. I didn’t care what he chose to do with it. I felt very confident and happy handing that letter to the clerk – it felt super “right”.

I didn’t have any details of myself on the outside. He would have had to open it because he wouldn’t have known who it was from.

Whether or not he chose to read the letter in its entirety, was out of my hands. I wasn’t into control. I was letting the universe do as it needed to, I set the stage. I took the higher ground for myself, and I let it just be.

Then a few days pass, you receive the receipt showing he received and signed for the letter. What were your feelings at that point?

After I got a notification on my phone from the post office that he had received the letter, I could finally take a big deep breath and sigh of relief. The work on my end was now complete and then I waited for his response/action from his end. But nothing.

Eight months later, however, he began following my Instagram stories (unblocked me). I gave him two weeks to reach out, nothing. So, then I messaged him. In a nutshell I said, “I know you have been following my stories. I feel that I shouldn’t have to be the first one to reach out again. But I will for the sake of the olive branch. I would like for us to be at peace.”

His response, “I got your letters, thank you for the kind words.” That was it and he continued following my social media, despite not actually following me.

Two months later I wished him a genuine “Happy birthday, I wrote. “I hope you attain the clarity needed for your highest success in this next year” through Instagram DM.

He replied, “thank you”.

He continued to follow my stories but now more obsessively, & constantly. Though still not actually following my account (therefore having to constantly type my name in to “view me”).

I gave him two weeks from when I wished him “happy birthday” to digest his feelings. And perhaps begin to open up. Nothing … so then I blocked him on IG. But not over actual text message, therefore he could text my phone if he ever wanted to, he never did.

I didn’t block him out of malice, I did it for my own self respect. I didn’t want someone who felt “righteous” over me, getting access to me whenever he chose. It felt like he was punishing me, and, on his terms, he could have access to me. It felt wrong and super one-sided.

Moral of the story, I finally learned no one will ever again have free access to me and my kindness. They need to earn that. His character came into my life to teach me that. And to also remind me that I am a good person. One who will always try and do the right thing. And that I am OK being the “bad guy” in someone else’s story. even though I am not a bad person. You can’t “make” someone forgive you or like you who wants to hate you. Who wants to stay angry at you. Who doesn’t want to evolve and have a hard look at themselves.

I am so thankful for the life lessons we taught each other and what that did for my own growth. I learned not only how to command my worth. But to uphold firm boundaries of what I will and will not tolerate – self-worth.

Self Soothe

One other subject I want to discuss here is your mention of “self-soothe.’ Can you give us a brief understanding of what it is?

Self-soothing is the ability to come back to your center. To know that whatever happens, that you’ve got your own back. That your inner fortress is so strong, & that you are so motivated by your own innate success. That you are O.K with whatever “blows” enter your life. That you are in the observer’s seat, in total self-awareness. As opposed to operating within the drama triangle (victim, savior, prosecutor) = fear state.

Mental Health

Would you to tell everyone how important it is to be conscious of our mental health. And why we should be prepared for such breaks as opposed to waiting for the worst before we address it.

I strongly feel everyone should work with a good coach/therapist. Someone who is a crossbreed at least once in their lifetime.

Why? It allows someone who is non- biased to really help you get on your highest vibrational timeline. Lessening the chances of you being stuck in repeated “life challenges”.

Think of it like a cheat sheet to your success. The work will be hard, but you will get there faster. That being said, everyone needs their “rite of passage.” Their “dark night of the soul” moments before it will make sense to work with a good coach/therapist. Why? Because you have to be in a space of wanting to look at those painful places in your life. It takes being in a “low” to really get motivated to be there, to “sit in the fire”. There is no right or wrong time to enter therapy.

About Me

“What led you to agree to this interview with me? After all, we haven’t known one another very long. What is it about my platform that you like?”

I decided to work with you because its good exposure. And you seem genuinely interested in unique individuals and what they have to offer the world. This is me in a nutshell, unique.

Writers Note

I actually slept on this last night not knowing how I felt or what I was going to type here in the end.

As far as the ‘registered letter‘ approach. I truly do like this. And I must admit Jodika has moxie.

Could I have done it? I think if I had thought about it before the last two dozen roses, and gift I had sent as an apology, which I didn’t owe, I most likely would have. But again, communication is paramount, as my case never should have gone this far. As a two-minute talk between US could’ve saved US two years of grief.

And now seeing both a therapist and meditation coach I fully agree with Jodika’s statement “I strongly feel everyone should work with a good coach/therapist.” And if ever asked by anyone would tell them yes, by all means talk to a therapist/coach. We as humans don’t know everything individually. But collectively we have unlimited understandings of so much more. But again, you have to be willing to communicate.

My thoughts on ‘Blocking‘ haven’t weaned. It’s deplorable to the core in relationships we’ve grown out of. Unless life endangering or eminent harm exists. I still hurt after being blocked twenty months ago by someone I grew to love unconditionally as a friend, whose lack of communication turned to be the biggest culprit of any crime committed. And I still see me lying in that hospital bed all too many times last year. Thinking only of her and wondering whether or not I’d make it through the procedure. Wanting to see her for inspiration. She didn’t have to call me like she once did. But her presence would’ve made the difference in healing strategies for both my physical and emotional ills. Oddly, to this day, I feel no hatred nor resentment and wonder if I healed right by not having felt those emotions.

And although I don’t use Twitter much, I was happy to see a popup the other day saying they’re modifying its own policy on the action. Simply by not allowing those blocked by interacting with those who have blocked them. While all posts will be visible once again as if you’re a new signup.

To Jodika I thank you! You’re an inspiration to all of us. Through your own life struggles you’ve shown resilience and strength and yet have turned to helping others rather than seek fame and fortune. I applaud you for that. It’s been an honor writing about you and hope that in the future we can work on more articles of interests in your chosen field. As mental health is of the utmost importance in our changing times. Thank you again my newfound friend!

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