“You have been through so much.”

December 20, 2023

Tuesday

     Wasn’t much of a rest day as I needed to get some final Christmas Shopping in and later had to pick up a prescription for the stinging/burning sensations that was called it in to the pharmacy. Also, found out oncology wants a urine sample tomorrow to make sure there’s no infection. I’ll do that after the final radiation treatment. 

     Can’t believe I was able to type that. ‘Final Radiation Treatment.’ Should add, as long as the cancer is gone after further testing in a couple weeks.

     Yes, Linda H I’m putting this out here. 🤣💗 You must have known I would, Ms. I’m too Shy, to even post a real profile picture on ‘social media.’

     I received this wonderful Christmas Card from Linda the other day and it made me ‘smile.’  Not so much for the card itself, she always sends me one. It was the handwritten words inside that touched me.

We’ve been friends pretty much my entire life and she included the following passage, “You have been through so much. Let me buy your next cup of Java, L. To a better 2024!” 

The rest I’ll leave out just for us. I bet she thought I was going to ‘out her!’ 

     In all seriousness, Linda, ‘Thank you.’ Your friendship, kindness and love mean so very much to me. Moreso than anyone, as you’ve seen my struggles and successes through the years and have always been supportive, empathetic and there to listen and offer advice. I said it before, your dad would be very proud of you as would your mom! I’m sorry I had never gotten to know her.

Wednesday

     Game Day… As I wake just hours before my last radiation dose, I’m not reflecting on it. I’m thinking about the College Football Playoffs. Fuck ‘Bama I wake thinking! Go Blue. My prediction Michigan 34 Alabama 24. The Rose Bowl is no place to play for non ‘Big1G or PAC10′ team. Yes, I’m old school. 

     And being the only person, I like in Texas, is Tara E, I’ve got Washington (a PAC 10 school) beating the Longhorns 35-21. She’s a ‘Wolverine’ in every sense of the word. And a native ‘Michigander.’

      The Dream… Had an odd dream last night. I was dreaming that someone I know (Casey Dacanay) was dreaming about me. Never had one like that and I dream almost nightly. I read that, dreaming about someone can be a sign that they are thinking or dreaming about you, too. I’ll take this as a sign of support as well.  

     Medication… OMG this stuff worked wonders after a single dose. My radiation oncologist gave me a script for ‘Tamsulosin.’ A mere hours after my first dose, yesterday, I was feeling 100% better using the restroom. I still feel a bit of stinging, but it’s worked wonders. Just hoping the amount on prescription’s refills, he had ordered isn’t need. But as opposed to the ‘near tears’ I faced every previous trip, I’m game for anything that eases that pain.

Treatment

      The generally short radiation process took some twists today and I began to fear it would be rescheduled for another day. It begins as I lay on the slab. About five minutes after its start the nurse walks back in. The gown covering my mid-section has metal snaps and they’re in the way. It’s readjusted and she walks back out. 

     The process begins once more. Another five minutes goes by, and she appears once more. Now I’m not aligned right. She shifts me left, shifts me up and then every other way she can shift, then leaves. 

     It’s then, while recalling a photo I had taken yesterday as I shopped, I decided I wanted to turn into something other than my previous options after receiving the radiation. Hell, he’s from outer space and exposed to radiation. Sorry Godzilla, Hulk, Spiderman and for those of you who were rooting for Superman as my sudden transformation. 

     He has ‘The Force.’ He has ‘Wisdom.’ He has it ‘All.’ He’s ‘Yoda’ 

     As the nurse ducks behind the protective side of the room, I hear ‘don’t move.’ Forceful as any television cop, it’s the tech running the machine. She’s grown impatient like me. Wants to get it over with. I lay frozen for the next fifteen minutes with only my mind moving. 

     I think of Linda and her words, “You have been through so much.” I think of this past ‘Valentines Day’ and how words or lack thereof them can hurt. I think of the surgery in March along with the other medical procedures leading up to this day. I think of every one of you that’ll read this but the one thing I can’t think about is ‘me.’ Damn, my nose and back itch, if I think, I’ll twitch, and we’ll start over once more. Not today, I’m Yoda. I can do this. ‘The Force is With Me’ and then it’s over.

     Was a half a mile down the road when my cell rings. It’s Becca, the oncology nurse, she had forgotten to mention they needed to check my defibrillator implant. Wanted to know if I would return. My cousins husband turns around and I go back in. Ten minutes later, as the tech from cardiology was already waiting on me, I walked back out. The device is working fine. 

     I return in mid-January, a full year and two months after being sent to a urologist by my primary physician because of high PSA levels for lab work to verify its success. I owe her thanks once more for what could have gone undetected and created greater havoc on my health by catching ‘The Little Things’ early! 

     I had plans after my last blog of adding ‘Hulk’ to the tree as my last ornament. But while shopping for him on Amazon, Monday night, I came across ‘Grogu and The Mandalorian’ as well. 

     I couldn’t resist I ordered both. Go ahead and think I am a little off, goofy or flat out crazy. I don’t care, because I’m happy. I’m happy it’s likely over. I’m happy because of all of you that helped chose the ornaments. I’m happy that Christmas brings me joy once more. But most of all, I’m happy because ‘I ‘m Alive’ 

 

Star Wars Yoda

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