{"id":8299,"date":"2025-04-13T07:45:04","date_gmt":"2025-04-13T11:45:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/?p=8299"},"modified":"2025-04-20T11:09:14","modified_gmt":"2025-04-20T15:09:14","slug":"navigating-life-after-heartache-and-illness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/es\/2025\/04\/13\/navigating-life-after-heartache-and-illness\/","title":{"rendered":"Navigating Life After Heartache and Illness"},"content":{"rendered":"

With Therapists: Agnieszka Rdesinska and Jodika McKinley<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Back Story<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My grief began shortly after Valentines Day 2023<\/em><\/strong> with a breakup of a friend so dear that I had fallen in love with her. At the same time, I found I was in need of an Implantable Cardiac Device<\/a><\/em><\/strong> (ICD) changeout. That subsequently led to two cardiac ablations<\/a><\/em><\/strong> and a cardioversion<\/a><\/em><\/strong>. A mere two months after the last heart procedure, I was diagnosed with cancer<\/a><\/em><\/strong>. Consequently, I was subjected to further testing and procedures before facing radiation therapy<\/a><\/em><\/strong>, that concluded just days before Christmas at years end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, twenty some months post friendship loss, nearly as long since the last cardiac scare, and two months shy of the second anniversary of the cancer diagnosis, I wanted to write about ‘healing,’ as grief had recently crept its’ way back in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Broken Hearted<\/em><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Healing<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

While the trauma and pain from the medical procedures have long since dissipated, I’ve never fully recovered from the loss of her friendship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most days had become bearable. Others livable. But some sent me to the bottom of the barrel due to the grief. Few know, until now, I’ve recently had to climb my way from the pits of that barrel, to save my sanity once more<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Pickle Barrel<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

While living with the fond memories we had created, I believed I was at peace. But things had changed as my thoughts began to dill and the taste lingered much too long. For nearly three full days my stomach curled. Flashbacks of unknown inadequacies, the possibility of not being good enough, to ever loving like that again, grew like the botanical description of the plants associated with dills definition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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