{"id":5335,"date":"2024-08-16T18:47:24","date_gmt":"2024-08-16T22:47:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/?p=5335"},"modified":"2025-08-25T08:29:12","modified_gmt":"2025-08-25T12:29:12","slug":"what-is-a-safe-person-and-how-important-are-they","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/es\/2024\/08\/16\/what-is-a-safe-person-and-how-important-are-they\/","title":{"rendered":"What is a ‘Safe Person’ and how important are they?"},"content":{"rendered":"

With: Agnieszka (Agnes) Rdesinska<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In an interview I gave with friend Agnieszka (Agnes) Rdesinska<\/a><\/em><\/strong>, I was asked by the therapist in her, “You\u2019ve made us wait so long for an official \u2018Meet Me<\/a>\u2019\u2026 so why did you agree to do it now?” An excerpt of my reply to her question was, “To me you\u2019re that safe place I lost along with that friendship. A sanctuary of sorts with a mission of healing not destroying.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hadn’t realized until recently, while talking to the therapist portion of my friend, Agnes<\/a><\/em><\/strong>, exactly how important having a ‘safe person<\/em><\/strong>‘ in your life is. As I merely entrusted my previous one to be there, if needed, not knowing or even thinking far enough ahead of what would happen if she wasn’t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As it so happens, she isn’t around any longer; while Agnes is and has eagerly taken on her new role as my safe place. So, I wanted to delve into the facts and benefits of what having a safe person is like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Agnieszka (Agnes) Rdesinska<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

What is a Safe Person<\/em><\/strong>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a therapist, is there a professional definition of a \u2018safe person\u2019 and what is it?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“A \u2018safe person<\/em><\/strong>\u2019 is someone who can provide emotional safety and emotional support,” begins Agnes<\/em><\/strong> and adds. “Being a ‘safe person’ is one of the primary roles of a therapist, but the more, safe people you have around you, the better.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

We all understand that no one is perfect. With that being said, why do we need a safe person (people) in our lives?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We need safe people exactly because we’re not perfect. Safe people offer the acceptance and understanding that allow us to embrace our imperfections without fear of judgment. In turn, a safe person doesn\u2019t have to be perfect either; it\u2019s about mutual acceptance and support, where both parties recognize and respect each other’s flaws.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Emotional safety is a basic psychological need. If you’re surrounded by people who shame and reject you whenever you don\u2019t act the way they want, you\u2019ll be forced to live a life of inauthenticity, suppressing your true feelings and who you really are. This can lead to chronic stress, which in turn causes various health problems, both physical and mental. That\u2019s why psychologists emphasize the importance of having \u2018safe people\u2019 around.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Knowing we all make mistakes, what should we take into account before choosing, designating and asking someone to be that person? Or do they even have to know they\u2019re our safe person?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don’t really designate someone to be your safe person, unless you’re searching for a therapist of course! You can ask someone to try and become that person for you but being a \u2018safe person\u2019 takes a lot of work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyone can become a “safe person” if they truly want to. There are some key traits every safe person has:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They don’t judge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They don’t invalidate your feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They’re trustworthy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They respect your point of view, even if you disagree on something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They respect your boundaries and wishes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They communicate well, without making assumptions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They don’t bring you down\u2014they encourage growth instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And most importantly, they don’t create drama or take petty offense because they trust that you mean well. For example, if you forget to call them because you had a lot going on, they won’t take it personally, nor will they take it out on you or abandon your friendship over it. A safe person understands that people can make mistakes, and it’s not always about them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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