{"id":4445,"date":"2024-06-22T10:17:12","date_gmt":"2024-06-22T14:17:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/?p=4445"},"modified":"2025-10-29T11:21:28","modified_gmt":"2025-10-29T15:21:28","slug":"letting-go-of-a-ghost-has-become-my-biggest-challenge","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/es\/2024\/06\/22\/letting-go-of-a-ghost-has-become-my-biggest-challenge\/","title":{"rendered":"Letting Go of a Ghost has Become My Biggest Challenge"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>Mental Health Awareness<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>I make jest of it here but it&#8217;s no joke trying to let it go, it hurts.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/ktW6pRlKYPU?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=es-MX&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sixteen months later she still haunts most days. Even the therapist hasn&#8217;t fully helped exercise the demon. A demon I see in nearly every show I watch, shop I enter, song I hear or dream I dream.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She&#8217;s as real as you and I and not really a demon, only her actions that shows no signs of authenticity, compassion nor empathy that appear in the flesh fit that description. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Maybe she&#8217;s in pain too, I think, as hope creeps its way back in, like the love my heart that refuses to relinquish, even if just as a friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Forgiving has been easy because of the love I still hold for her yet forgetting has been excruciating because of the good times we shared. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-video wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-videopress\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe title=\"VideoPress Video Player\" aria-label='VideoPress Video Player' width='421' height='750' src='https:\/\/videopress.com\/embed\/YjxDI0QS?cover=1&amp;preloadContent=metadata&amp;useAverageColor=1&amp;hd=0' frameborder='0' allowfullscreen data-resize-to-parent=\"true\" allow='clipboard-write'><\/iframe><script src='https:\/\/v0.wordpress.com\/js\/next\/videopress-iframe.js?m=1739540970'><\/script>\n<\/div><figcaption><strong><em>Whitney Hanson<\/em><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I know I&#8217;ll never receive any of these apologies <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@whitneyhansonpoetry?lang=en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Whitney Hanson <\/a>speaks of, above, for the way she vanished at a time when I needed her most. But these aren&#8217;t what haunts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Rather it&#8217;s the message, below, and the timing of it all that seen me battle heart disease and then cancer with its subsequent treatment when she became unclear. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/blog.jpg?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"831\" height=\"1024\" data-attachment-id=\"4454\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/es\/2024\/06\/22\/letting-go-of-a-ghost-has-become-my-biggest-challenge\/blog-2\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/blog.jpg?fit=1080%2C1331&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"1080,1331\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"blog\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/blog.jpg?fit=831%2C1024&amp;ssl=1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/blog.jpg?resize=831%2C1024&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4454\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/blog.jpg?resize=831%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 831w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/blog.jpg?resize=243%2C300&amp;ssl=1 243w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/blog.jpg?resize=768%2C946&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/blog.jpg?w=1080&amp;ssl=1 1080w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 831px) 100vw, 831px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Perhaps she knows, my subconscious tells me, and is afraid to reach out in fear of her own demons. But then the Gemini Twin in me comes out and says, &#8220;if that were the case she&#8217;d want to heal as well and contact you.&#8221;. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It&#8217;s these very thoughts, and many more alike, that waste my time daily as my mind hasn&#8217;t released the notion, she wasn&#8217;t all I had at the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>Follow me on Instagram at&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/rickollie\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">rickollie<\/a>&nbsp;and subscribe to my email list here at the bottom of the page! And if you enjoy my website, please consider a small donation to help me keep it afloat at&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/paypal.me\/justmeric\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">paypal.me\/justmeric<\/a>. Thank You.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">unconditional love, healing<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Maybe she&#8217;s in pain too, I think, as hope creeps its way back in, like the love my heart that refuses to relinquish, even if just as a friend<\/p>","protected":false},"author":91886495,"featured_media":4466,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_first_post":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"#QOTD via #DailyPrompt\nHow do you waste the most time every day?\n#ReleasingAGhost #LettingGo #Apologies #GeminiSeason #BirthdayMonth #Healing #CancerSurvivor #HeartDisease #BrokenHeart #MovingForward #Writer #WritersLife #LifeLessons #Love #LostLove #Life","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[770052968],"tags":[770053254,770053253,770052973,770052947,770053251,770053256,770053252,770053255,770052752,770052898,770052936],"class_list":["post-4445","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dailyprompt","tag-apologies","tag-biggest-challenge","tag-cancer-survivor","tag-dailyprompt","tag-dailyprompt-1977","tag-gemini","tag-ghost","tag-haunting","tag-healing","tag-mental-health","tag-unconditional-love"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.3 - 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