{"id":15002,"date":"2026-06-09T07:31:38","date_gmt":"2026-06-09T11:31:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/?p=15002"},"modified":"2026-06-09T07:31:40","modified_gmt":"2026-06-09T11:31:40","slug":"whats-a-fear-youve-overcome-and-how-did-you-do-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/es\/2026\/06\/09\/whats-a-fear-youve-overcome-and-how-did-you-do-it\/","title":{"rendered":"What’s a Fear You’ve Overcome \u2014 And How Did You Do It?"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Obvious Answer<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When I first saw today’s prompt, I immediately thought of heart disease<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After all, I’ve lived with it for nearly thirty years. There have been surgeries, procedures, hospital stays, and enough doctor’s appointments to fill a calendar. Cancer<\/a><\/strong> eventually joined the party as well. Radiation treatments, biopsies, scans, blood work, and the uncertainty that comes with hearing the words, “We’ll know more after the next test.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most people would assume one of those would be my answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They’d be wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fear comes in different forms. Some fears threaten your body. Others threaten your peace of mind. The worst ones threaten your willingness to keep believing in something after life has convinced you not to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For me, that fear began long before cancer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It began after my divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Rick<\/a>
Sometimes the greatest fears aren’t the ones that threaten our lives. They’re the ones that challenge us to open our hearts again.<\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The Fear Behind the Fear<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When my marriage ended in 2004, I didn’t simply lose a relationship. I lost faith in relationships themselves. Looking back now, I can see how much of my life was shaped by that loss. It wasn’t something I talked about often, but it influenced nearly every decision I made afterward. I convinced myself I was better off alone. It seemed easier that way. There was less risk, less disappointment, and less chance of being hurt again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Wall I Built<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Years passed. Then more years passed. Before I realized it, nearly two decades had gone by.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During that time I had friendships, experiences, and occasional relationships, but there was always a line I refused to cross. I kept part of myself protected. The wall wasn’t there because I disliked people. It was there because I understood what heartbreak felt like and wanted no part of it again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What I didn’t realize was that fear and healing sometimes wear the same disguise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For years I told myself I had moved on. I told myself I was content. I told myself I didn’t need love in my life. Some of that was true. Much of it wasn’t. Deep down, I wasn’t avoiding love because I no longer wanted it. I was avoiding it because I was afraid of losing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Friendship That Changed Everything<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Then Casey<\/a><\/strong> entered my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not as a romantic interest. Not as someone I intended to fall for. She was a friend. At least that’s how it started.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Friendships have a way of sneaking past defenses that relationships never can. There are no expectations. No pressure. No assumptions about where things are headed. You simply enjoy another person’s presence and don’t think much beyond that. Looking back, I suppose that’s exactly why she became so important to me. The connection developed naturally. There was trust, laughter, encouragement, and the comfort that comes from knowing someone is genuinely happy to hear from you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Fear Became Reality<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

By the time I realized I loved her, it was too late to stop it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The funny thing about love is that we often recognize it long after it has arrived. One day you wake up and discover that someone else’s happiness matters to you. Their successes make you smile. Their struggles concern you. You find yourself wanting the best for them even if you gain nothing in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That realization should have made me happy. Instead, it terrified me. Not because I loved her, but because I finally understood how much losing her would hurt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, life has a way of confirming our greatest fears. When the friendship ended, I found myself facing something I hadn’t experienced even through divorce. The grief wasn’t just about losing Casey. It was about losing the first person who had made me ever feel that way. It felt as though a door I thought had finally opened had suddenly been slammed shut.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Lessons I Got Wrong<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

For a long time, I believed the lessons were simple. Never do that again because it’s not worth the risk. And damn, quit caring so much for everyone that don’t even see you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The problem with those lessons is that they seem wise while quietly making life smaller.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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