{"id":13053,"date":"2026-03-16T07:54:47","date_gmt":"2026-03-16T11:54:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/?p=13053"},"modified":"2026-04-02T12:34:30","modified_gmt":"2026-04-02T16:34:30","slug":"rickollie-com-love-during-illness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/es\/2026\/03\/16\/rickollie-com-love-during-illness\/","title":{"rendered":"3:16 \u2014 The Weight of The Love That Stayed"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><strong><em>A Lost Friendship During Illness<\/em><\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There was a season when everything in my body felt under construction. An ICD change, two cardiac ablations, and a cardioversion were all needed to keep me alive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/rick-ollie-316-weight-of-love-that-stayed.jpg-2.png?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"819\" height=\"1024\" data-attachment-id=\"13440\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/es\/2026\/03\/16\/rickollie-com-love-during-illness\/rick-ollie-316-weight-of-love-that-stayed-jpg-2\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/rick-ollie-316-weight-of-love-that-stayed.jpg-2.png?fit=1080%2C1350&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"1080,1350\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"rick-ollie-316-weight-of-love-that-stayed.jpg (2)\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;A portrait of writer Rick Ollie smiling in a calm, reflective pose. The image accompanies the personal essay \u201c3:16 \u2013 The Weight of the Love That Stayed,\u201d which explores illness, heart procedures, cancer, friendship, and the enduring meaning of love and presence during difficult seasons of life.&lt;\/p&gt;\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Rick Ollie during the period of reflection that inspired the essay \u201c3:16 \u2013 The Weight of the Love That Stayed,\u201d a story about illness, friendship, and the meaning of presence during life\u2019s hardest moments.&lt;\/p&gt;\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/rick-ollie-316-weight-of-love-that-stayed.jpg-2.png?fit=819%2C1024&amp;ssl=1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/rick-ollie-316-weight-of-love-that-stayed.jpg-2.png?resize=819%2C1024&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Portrait of Rick Ollie smiling while reflecting on illness, resilience, and the story \u201c3:16 \u2013 The Weight of the Love That Stayed\u201d\" class=\"wp-image-13440\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/rick-ollie-316-weight-of-love-that-stayed.jpg-2.png?resize=819%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 819w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/rick-ollie-316-weight-of-love-that-stayed.jpg-2.png?resize=240%2C300&amp;ssl=1 240w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/rick-ollie-316-weight-of-love-that-stayed.jpg-2.png?resize=768%2C960&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/rick-ollie-316-weight-of-love-that-stayed.jpg-2.png?resize=10%2C12&amp;ssl=1 10w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/rick-ollie-316-weight-of-love-that-stayed.jpg-2.png?w=1080&amp;ssl=1 1080w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 819px) 100vw, 819px\" \/><\/a><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><strong><em>Rick Ollie reflects on his experiences. This inspired the essay \u201c3:16 \u2013 The Weight of the Love That Stayed.\u201d It is a story about illness, friendship, and the meaning of presence during life\u2019s hardest moments.<\/em><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I knew the sounds of the monitors and where to sign the consent forms from prior stays. Nodding when doctors said, &#8216;We\u2019ll take good care of you,&#8217; was nothing new. Nor was being brave under the fluorescent lights of procedure and operating rooms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There was only one fear in the middle of that \u2014 and it happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She walked away while my chest was being opened metaphorically and electrically rewired. I don\u2019t tell that part dramatically. I say it plainly. The timing was what hurt. Not just that she left, but that she left when I was physically fragile. Even after I asked her to stay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Months later, when I was steady again, the <strong><em><a href=\"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/es\/?s=cancer\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">cancer<\/a><\/em><\/strong> diagnosis came. Tests. Treatments. Radiation. One fight hadn&#8217;t fully ended as another began.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/5hr64MxYpgk?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=es-MX&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span>\n<\/div><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><strong><em>Mike + The Mechanics: The Living Years<\/em><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\">When Love Leaves During Illness<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What I needed during that stretch wasn\u2019t romance. It wasn\u2019t promises. It wasn\u2019t even reconciliation. I needed to know she cared. A text. A check-in. Some signal that the friendship we once shared carried weight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I never heard from her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">With hope as my companion, I fought the version of myself that wanted to harden. Even when it would have been easier to give in, I refused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A year later a new round of cancer besieged me. The memories are as fresh today as when they first happened. And yet I\u2019m still here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I don\u2019t like the term fighting. There were no options anyway.<br>What it felt like instead was Yoda\u2019s teaching: <em>\u201cDo or do not. There is no try.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">People hear my story and assume anger would live here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Only The Force does.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Don\u2019t misunderstand me, anger is something I\u2019ve tried to find. I searched for it the way some people search for closure. But hope keeps interrupting. Not hope that she\u2019ll come back. Just hope that what we had meant something, even if it couldn\u2019t survive the storm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Three years later, if she called, the first feeling wouldn\u2019t be rage. It would be relief. Relief that I didn\u2019t imagine it wasn\u2019t disposable. Relief that during the hardest season of my life, I mattered in some real way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019d run back blindly. I wouldn\u2019t. I\u2019ve learned too much for that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If she came back, I would weigh it carefully and I use that word intentionally. I would want to know if what I felt had mass on her side of the scale. Not fantasy, convenience nor timing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Weight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If she cared but didn\u2019t know how to show up, that\u2019s tragedy. If she didn\u2019t care enough to try, that\u2019s clarity. Either way, I&#8217;d cautious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Cancer changes how you measure time. Heart procedures change how you measure fragility. Love leaving during both changes how you measure people. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But here\u2019s what did not change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I learned the real meaning of love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\">What Love Looks Like During Illness<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Love Is Presence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Love isn\u2019t loud. It isn\u2019t social media. It isn\u2019t passion. Love is presence. It\u2019s calling or texting when the diagnosis comes and showing up when machines are beeping and the future is uncertain. It\u2019s that one sentence that says, \u201c<strong><em>You\u2019ve got this<\/em><\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I offered that love but never received it and her absence hasn&#8217;t erased it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The caution I carry now isn\u2019t bitterness. It\u2019s earned awareness. I am not afraid of loving again. What I am afraid of is investing that deeply without proof of capacity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Some people harden after loss. I didn\u2019t. I stayed open and kept writing and hoping all the while walking through cancer without turning my heart to stone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Hope stopped me from becoming angry. Not because it didn\u2019t hurt, but because I refuse to let pain decide who I become.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If she never contacts me again, I don\u2019t know if I\u2019ll have total peace. That\u2019s the honest answer. Silence is heavy. It makes me question the scale of everything that came before it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But I do know this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">During my worst season,<strong><em><a href=\"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/es\/2026\/03\/07\/last-thing-i-learned-about-love\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"> I loved fully<\/a><\/em><\/strong>.<br>I did not shut down. Cruelty never followed.<br>My suffering was never weaponized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I stayed open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Whether she ever confirms it or not, that love still carries weight. And maybe that\u2019s what matters most. Not whether she returns and explains. Not even if she says I meant something to her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What matters is this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When my body was under siege, my heart still knew how to show up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Caution lives here now.<br>Capability does too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And that, more than anything, tells me I will survive more than cancer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/TdN5GyTl8K0?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=es-MX&#038;autohide=2&#038;start=22&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span>\n<\/div><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><strong><em>Jason Marz: I Won&#8217;t Give Up<\/em><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\">The Weight of Silence<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">On 3:16, three years ago today, there was a moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Biblically, that date speaks of love given and not withheld. She did not say goodbye or say that she hated me. She did not close the door with anger. All she said was, \u201cDon\u2019t write anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That was the last I heard from her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No argument. No resolution. Just silence where language used to live.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I have often wondered about the weight of that date. About love that endures versus love that retreats. If 3:16 means anything, it reminds me that love is less about who stays. It is more about how fully it is given.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I gave fully. And still do. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em><strong><em><strong><em><strong><em>If you\u2019ve enjoyed what you read here, please subscribe to my email list at the bottom of the page<\/em><\/strong><\/em><\/strong>. Consider making a small donation to help keep my website afloat at&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/paypal.me\/justmeric\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">JustMeRic<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em><strong><em>And check out my&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/shop\/rickollie?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_aipsfshop_X2H33BYQ9M4J6VKWB55M\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Amazon Creator Storefront<\/a>. There you\u2019ll see some of the awesome purchases I\u2019ve made and recommend. Yes, I earn a small commission when you shop there.<\/em><\/strong><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em><strong><em>You can also find all of my sites in one place on&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/linktr.ee\/rickollie\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Linktree<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/em><\/strong><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The caution I carry now isn\u2019t bitterness. It\u2019s earned awareness. I am not afraid of loving again. What I am afraid of is investing that deeply without proof of capacity.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":91886495,"featured_media":13585,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Heart procedures and cancer and the love that left in the middle of it. This is a story about fragility, silence, and the weight of love fully given\u2014even when it wasn't returned. All the while choosing hope over anger and avoiding hate while suffering heartache.","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false,"token":"eyJpbWciOiJodHRwczpcL1wvcmlja29sbGllLmNvbVwvd3AtY29udGVudFwvdXBsb2Fkc1wvMjAyNlwvMDNcL3JpY2stb2xsaWUtMzE2LXRoZS13ZWlnaHQtb2YtdGhlLWxvdmUtdGhhdC1zdGF5ZWQtbG9zdC1mcmllbmRzaGlwLWlsbG5lc3MtMTAyNHg2ODMucG5nIiwidHh0IjoiMzoxNiBcdTIwMTQgVGhlIFdlaWdodCBvZiBUaGUgTG92ZSBUaGF0IFN0YXllZCIsInRlbXBsYXRlIjoiaGlnaHdheSIsImZvbnQiOiIiLCJibG9nX2lkIjo5Njc0NzAxNn0.3UV1MlbyOdpz8qa9rLaka8qpLk7_92Z9UQIXExXWp5kMQ"},"version":2,"media_source":"media-library","attached_media":[{"id":13585,"url":"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/rick-ollie-316-the-weight-of-the-love-that-stayed-lost-friendship-illness.png","type":"image\/png"}]},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[770054416,4252],"tags":[770052886,770052741,770054337,58401,20816,770054338,770054228,770052738,146226,108116,770054336],"class_list":["post-13053","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-770054416","category-cancer","tag-770052886","tag-cancer","tag-diagnosis","tag-doctors","tag-hope","tag-i-mattered","tag-icd","tag-love","tag-radiation","tag-the-force","tag-walked-away"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.8 - 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