{"id":12738,"date":"2026-02-12T09:23:00","date_gmt":"2026-02-12T14:23:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/?p=12738"},"modified":"2026-02-14T07:55:48","modified_gmt":"2026-02-14T12:55:48","slug":"control-is-an-illusion-what-my-latest-cancer-labs-taught-me-about-living","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/es\/2026\/02\/12\/control-is-an-illusion-what-my-latest-cancer-labs-taught-me-about-living\/","title":{"rendered":"Control Is an Illusion: What My Latest Cancer Labs Taught Me About Living"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>Wednesday: February 11, 2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left wp-block-paragraph\">Let\u2019s keep this one quick as life&#8217;s been a little chaotic and crazy. I\u2019m in a good mood, and there\u2019s no reason to ruin that by dragging this out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/F850CC50-9D83-4154-89D2-278AABDB4258.png?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" data-attachment-id=\"12770\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/es\/2026\/02\/12\/control-is-an-illusion-what-my-latest-cancer-labs-taught-me-about-living\/f850cc50-9d83-4154-89d2-278aabdb4258\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/F850CC50-9D83-4154-89D2-278AABDB4258.png?fit=1024%2C1024&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"1024,1024\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-title=\"F850CC50-9D83-4154-89D2-278AABDB4258\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;Personal blog photo of Rick during a clinic visit while monitoring prostate cancer through PSA and testosterone lab tests. The image reflects a real moment inside an oncology exam room, capturing hope, resilience, and the emotional reality of ongoing cancer treatment and medical decision-making.&lt;\/p&gt;\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Inside the exam room, waiting on PSA test \u2014 a real moment in my cancer journey where fear slowly turned into relief.&lt;\/p&gt;\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/F850CC50-9D83-4154-89D2-278AABDB4258.png?fit=1024%2C1024&amp;ssl=1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/F850CC50-9D83-4154-89D2-278AABDB4258.png?resize=1024%2C1024&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Prostate cancer patient smiling in a medical exam room before PSA blood test, documenting personal cancer journey and treatment progress.\" class=\"wp-image-12770\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/F850CC50-9D83-4154-89D2-278AABDB4258.png?w=1024&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/F850CC50-9D83-4154-89D2-278AABDB4258.png?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/F850CC50-9D83-4154-89D2-278AABDB4258.png?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/F850CC50-9D83-4154-89D2-278AABDB4258.png?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/F850CC50-9D83-4154-89D2-278AABDB4258.png?resize=12%2C12&amp;ssl=1 12w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/F850CC50-9D83-4154-89D2-278AABDB4258.png?resize=800%2C800&amp;ssl=1 800w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/F850CC50-9D83-4154-89D2-278AABDB4258.png?resize=600%2C600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/F850CC50-9D83-4154-89D2-278AABDB4258.png?resize=400%2C400&amp;ssl=1 400w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/F850CC50-9D83-4154-89D2-278AABDB4258.png?resize=200%2C200&amp;ssl=1 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/a><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><strong><em>Inside the exam room, waiting on the PSA and Testosterone tests<\/em><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left wp-block-paragraph\">I last saw Oncology twelve weeks and one day ago. It has been eleven weeks and six days since my appointment with the urologist. The oncologist ordered labs every twelve weeks, usually scheduled about a week before each visit. The catch? My next oncology appointment isn\u2019t until March. My urology appointment is next week. The order was written on November 18, 2025. To make things more confusing, my hospital chart says the tests aren\u2019t due until on or after May 1st. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left wp-block-paragraph\">I called oncology, and the head nurse told me to have the labs done before I come into their office. That would put me closer to sixteen weeks instead of twelve. I emailed my urologist last week asking for guidance, but I haven&#8217;t heard back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left wp-block-paragraph\">If I had waited, there wouldn\u2019t have been any baseline numbers to measure how the first injection affected me. I would have already received the second injection before the test. And I kept wondering what if the first one didn\u2019t work at all. All the while not forgetting how a similar situation delayed that initial injection by two months. No more games, this is my life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So, what did I do when the instructions didn\u2019t match and no one responds back to questions?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>I\u2019ll show you what I did\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/7AA7122F-00C5-4E37-A419-BC588CA28F85.png?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"683\" height=\"1024\" data-attachment-id=\"12758\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/es\/2026\/02\/12\/control-is-an-illusion-what-my-latest-cancer-labs-taught-me-about-living\/7aa7122f-00c5-4e37-a419-bc588ca28f85\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/7AA7122F-00C5-4E37-A419-BC588CA28F85.png?fit=1024%2C1536&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"1024,1536\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-title=\"7AA7122F-00C5-4E37-A419-BC588CA28F85\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/7AA7122F-00C5-4E37-A419-BC588CA28F85.png?fit=683%2C1024&amp;ssl=1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/7AA7122F-00C5-4E37-A419-BC588CA28F85.png?resize=683%2C1024&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-12758\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/7AA7122F-00C5-4E37-A419-BC588CA28F85.png?resize=683%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 683w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/7AA7122F-00C5-4E37-A419-BC588CA28F85.png?resize=200%2C300&amp;ssl=1 200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/7AA7122F-00C5-4E37-A419-BC588CA28F85.png?resize=768%2C1152&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/7AA7122F-00C5-4E37-A419-BC588CA28F85.png?resize=8%2C12&amp;ssl=1 8w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/7AA7122F-00C5-4E37-A419-BC588CA28F85.png?w=1024&amp;ssl=1 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>&#8230;I followed the fucking orders. Twelve weeks and one day.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And by doing it, I&#8217;m relieved to see my PSA numbers going down. Even if it comes at the cost of using what they call the &#8216;<strong><em>medical castration<\/em><\/strong>&#8216; drug, Lupron.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/211-PSA.png?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"756\" data-attachment-id=\"12756\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/es\/2026\/02\/12\/control-is-an-illusion-what-my-latest-cancer-labs-taught-me-about-living\/211-psa\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/211-PSA.png?fit=1149%2C848&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"1149,848\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-title=\"211 PSA\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/211-PSA.png?fit=1024%2C756&amp;ssl=1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/211-PSA.png?resize=1024%2C756&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-12756\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/211-PSA.png?resize=1024%2C756&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/211-PSA.png?resize=300%2C221&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/211-PSA.png?resize=768%2C567&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/211-PSA.png?resize=16%2C12&amp;ssl=1 16w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/211-PSA.png?w=1149&amp;ssl=1 1149w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The second test that was ordered was a Testosterone test. Something new to my chart and a reminder of how much this journey keeps evolving. Testosterone is essentially the fuel that feeds the cancer. This is why the treatment aims to drive those levels down as low as possible. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/211-testostrone.png?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"726\" data-attachment-id=\"12760\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/es\/2026\/02\/12\/control-is-an-illusion-what-my-latest-cancer-labs-taught-me-about-living\/211-testostrone\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/211-testostrone.png?fit=1152%2C817&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"1152,817\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-title=\"211 testostrone\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/211-testostrone.png?fit=1024%2C726&amp;ssl=1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/211-testostrone.png?resize=1024%2C726&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-12760\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/211-testostrone.png?resize=1024%2C726&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/211-testostrone.png?resize=300%2C213&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/211-testostrone.png?resize=768%2C545&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/211-testostrone.png?resize=18%2C12&amp;ssl=1 18w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/211-testostrone.png?w=1152&amp;ssl=1 1152w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">These numbers carry a lot of weight. They tell the story of whether the medication is actually doing what it\u2019s supposed to do. Slowing things down, keeping the cancer quiet, buying me more time between the unknowns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/pKt3o7WPYdo?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=es-MX&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span>\n<\/div><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><strong><em>OneRepublic: I Lived<\/em><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is the new me. A &#8216;<strong><em>Rick\u2019s Core<\/em><\/strong>&#8216; so to speak beginning. A reminder that control is an illusion, but perspective isn\u2019t. This morning started with fear and ended with relief. Sometimes the victory isn\u2019t loud or dramatic. Sometimes it\u2019s just a smaller number on a report. It&#8217;s also a deep breath you didn\u2019t realize you were holding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI Lived\u201d played while I sat there staring at the results. The lyrics felt less like background music. Instead, they felt like a promise. It was a promise to stay present. It was a commitment to keep showing up for my own life, even when the road feels clinical and uncertain. This journey isn\u2019t only about treatments or medical terminology. It\u2019s about choosing to live fully in the space between appointments. It\u2019s about the quiet moments that remind me who I am beyond the charts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So today, I\u2019ll take the win. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>Please subscribe to my email list at the bottom of the page!<\/em><\/strong>&nbsp;<strong><em>And if you enjoy my website, consider making a small donation to help me keep it afloat at&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/paypal.me\/justmeric\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">JustMeRic<\/a><\/em><\/strong>.&nbsp;<strong><em><strong><em>You can find all my sites on&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/linktr.ee\/rickollie\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Linktree<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/em><\/strong><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This journey isn\u2019t only about treatments or medical terminology. It\u2019s about choosing to live fully in the space between appointments. <\/p>","protected":false},"author":91886495,"featured_media":12776,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_first_post":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Control is an illusion, but perspective isn\u2019t. My latest cancer labs brought unexpected relief, lower PSA numbers, and a reminder to keep loving life between appointments. This is my Rick\u2019s Core moment.\n#CancerJourney #CancerAwareness #PSAResults #LivingWithCancer #RicksCore #GotLove #LoveMeAnyways","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2,"attached_media":[{"id":12778,"url":"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/ricks-core-featured-image-jetpack-medium.png","type":"image\/png"}]},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4252,228965],"tags":[770054305,770054308,770054306,770054307,770052741,770054303,770054304],"class_list":["post-12738","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cancer","category-cancer-chronicles","tag-controlisanillusion","tag-deepbreath","tag-medicalcastration","tag-testosterone-2","tag-cancer","tag-ilived","tag-rickscore"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.8 - 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