{"id":12634,"date":"2026-02-13T05:50:07","date_gmt":"2026-02-13T10:50:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/?p=12634"},"modified":"2026-02-19T16:11:20","modified_gmt":"2026-02-19T21:11:20","slug":"valentines-day-and-cancer-the-truth-with-my-therapist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/es\/2026\/02\/13\/valentines-day-and-cancer-the-truth-with-my-therapist\/","title":{"rendered":"Valentine’s Day and Cancer: The Truth with My Therapist"},"content":{"rendered":"

Agnes to the Rescue<\/em><\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Agnes<\/em><\/strong> wanted the \u201cU R CUTE\u201d<\/em><\/strong> heart for my tree with her name on it. But by the time she replied, it was already taken. Leaving \u201cKISS\u201d<\/em><\/strong> as her only option. These hearts are a little reminder of the kindness, connection, and the inspiration I\u2019m carrying with me from some wonderful souls. This will be important as I head toward my second hormonal injection next week and upcoming oncology appointment in March. \ud83c\udf84\u2764\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Red-haired<\/a>
Agnieszka (Agnes) Rdesinska, RTT Hypnotherapist and NLP Coach<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

She was happy with the “KISS”,<\/em><\/strong> and we spoke of “Love”<\/em><\/strong> and “Be Mine”<\/em><\/strong> in regard to my relationships. ‘I don’t think it’s possible,’ I told her, ‘that I’ll ever hear anyone say those words to me again’. That shifted the conversation rather quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a>
Agnes’ KISS<\/em><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The first hormonal injection I was given to stop cancers growth started showing its ugliness early on as my mental state and manhood came into question by my own mind. I wanted to discuss those side effects with her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lupron<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lupron (hormonal injection) has been challenging. It has significantly affected my sexual desires. I\u2019m learning to navigate this with honesty. I know these changes can improve once treatment stops. Still, as an older male, I oftentimes find myself questioning what society calls \u201cmanhood.\u201d I wonder whether parts of it feel lost along the way. It\u2019s a vulnerable space, but also a real part of my journey. We began there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I shared my concerns about the shrinkage, the loss of firmness, and the growing sense of impotence. “I can imagine it’s very difficult,” Agnes said gently. “Without testosterone, libido goes away. But as soon as you stop Lupron it’ll come back.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Maybe it’s better to look at it as a temporary side effect instead of a loss of something. You’re not losing your manhood, there’s so much more to being a man,” she reassured me, “You’ll live till 100.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With her reassurance I felt better. But what I didn’t mention to her is that without ‘it’ working. I wonder what woman would even want me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sex has changed this generation; and I’ve said it before. I want love with feeling, emotion, closeness. I’m not into bed hopping like our society has become so accustomed to. Yet sex is still involved. And although it isn’t my prime objective, ‘it’ not working properly makes it much harder (no pun intended) to find someone with values like mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now we know what my next session will be about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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