{"id":12484,"date":"2026-01-29T14:44:52","date_gmt":"2026-01-29T19:44:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/?p=12484"},"modified":"2026-02-07T18:37:47","modified_gmt":"2026-02-07T23:37:47","slug":"cancer-control-and-the-things-we-dont-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rickollie.com\/es\/2026\/01\/29\/cancer-control-and-the-things-we-dont-say\/","title":{"rendered":"Cancer, Control, and the Things We Don\u2019t Say"},"content":{"rendered":"

Losing Myself for Something is Fair – Losing Myself for Nothing Isn’t<\/em><\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s been a while since I\u2019ve written about my health, so I thought I\u2019d catch you up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a>
Rick Ollie<\/em><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Since receiving my first hormonal injection for cancer last November, I\u2019m coming up on my second injection in February. I\u2019m told these will continue for two years. Although I\u2019ve told people I haven\u2019t had any side effects, I\u2019ve started to wonder if that\u2019s entirely true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The drug, Lupron<\/strong>, is designed to shut down testosterone\u2014the fuel that feeds the cancer. I receive a three-month dose with each injection. The possible side effects are long and intimidating: changes in blood sugar, increased risk of heart attack or stroke, heart rhythm issues, bone density loss, seizures, fertility problems, impotence, testicular shrinkage, breast enlargement, joint pain, difficulty urinating, mood swings, and decreased libido.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve always felt fortunate having a cardiologist\u2014even more so now. Mine is the Chief of Cardiology at a major hospital, and having congestive heart failure and an ICD means he keeps a close watch. So far, no cardiology issues since starting Lupron, which is reassuring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I thought my anger and mood swings were from the frustration of not being seen by urology and oncology last fall. But the feelings lingered through November and most of December, even after the injection. I was anxious, angry, and worried the treatment wouldn\u2019t work. After a long talk with my primary care doctor in December, we decided on a low-dose anxiety medication. A month later, I feel noticeably more at ease.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I joke with friends about the breast growth, thankfully there has been none\u2014it\u2019s easier to laugh than to fear the alternative. The issues of impotence and testicular changes were harder to process. A man thing, I suppose. Talking about it with doctors felt awkward. The thought of losing that part of myself is unsettling. I was prescribed medication by my urologist after radiation therapy in \u201923, cleared by my cardiologist, but I\u2019ve never used it. It\u2019s been a celibate stretch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Strangely, opening up became easier with my meditation coach. One day she asked about side effects, and it all came out\u2014no embarrassment, no hesitation. Just truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n