Cancer Sucks

I woke up Tuesday morning actually feeling good. With coffee in hand, I checked the homepages of the net for the news. A routine I’ve had for quite some time now.

I scroll through all the 45/47 headlines like he doesn’t exist. So, depressing what this administration has done to our country. Then I happen across something that put me at a pause.

Ryne (Ryno) Sandberg‘s death. Although I knew of his initial cancer battle, I wasn’t aware it had retuned. However, none of the articles attributed it to his passing. They didn’t have to. People cured or with the disease know. I knew.

Sandberg, a former Major League Baseball standout and Hall of Famer with the Chicago Cubs, was only 65. Not much older than me. Of course, it struck home because I thought (still do) that my cancer was gone. Then a year later the numbers started elevating once again. I go back for more blood work this week and a visit with oncology next week.

‘Ryno’s’ news hit me harder than when I discovered former President Joe Biden’s cancer had spread. As all my friends reassured me, oh he’s older. I know age isn’t a prerequisite how bad one gets the disease, and I just let them believe they had helped. People say the darndest things to cheer you up. That’s why I have such a small group I even discuss it with because others just don’t understand. I write these for them and for myself as a means to show it’s mentally draining too.

I did send an email out to someone a couple days before Ryno’s passing. Suppose it was The Universe giving another of its synchronicities. The email was a means of affection and solace while acting as a catalyst to free my thoughts as some dreams had resurfaced between the recipient and me. Obviously, I didn’t know of his death before I sent it, or I may have conveyed these thoughts too.

Later I realized the stark coalition and my vailed fears in that letter. It too gave pause. Cancer is real. All too frightening. As I type this, there is no proof mine has returned. Yet in reality my mind says beware. Be ready. Be prepared for the worst. In doing so I won’t have a letdown. Wonder if ‘Ryno’ went through this too.

I looked deep into my X and Facebook feeds for a years ago post of his. But to no avail as I couldn’t find what I sought. It was a video of him in his playing days getting ready to bicycle with a son to Wrigley Field in Chicago before a game.

Very few ballparks could one do this. But tucked away in a quaint neighborhood setting, Wrigley is one of them. It wasn’t a promotion; it was just a way to spend time with a son. It touched me back then and still does today. That’s the Cubbie I’ll always remember.

RIP Ryne Sandberg and for the both of us and the millions of others with the disease I’ll continue the fight and tell of my journey.

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